Two Cents Worth of My Sense

10 Reasons Why People Hate Football in the South!!

2011-01-10T23:30:00.004-06:00

10. Obnoxious fans....period!!

9. We have rednecks in the south. An obnoxious redneck fan is nothing but more the reason to make fun of southern football. EVERY southern team has redneck fans!!

8. Obnoxious + redneck=bad combo! The majority of the MOST obnoxious fans of football in the south never attend the college they are most obnoxiously passionate about. That is really funny to me!! There is also a very good chance they didn't attend any college at all and we are lucky if they finished high school .

7. We have A LOT of old money in the south. Old money=old rich Alumni. We have the good old boy mentality when it comes to football and getting what we want (or who we want). Ask Mr. Newton!!

7. The media LOVES football in the south. Especially the SEC. The SEC gets more media coverage than any other division. Haters hate!!

6. The southern football FEMALE fans are the best looking....no doubt! We got hotties....no doubt!

5. We have something not many schools across the county can claim.....it is called TRADITION!!

4. This is God's country! God loves football!! I'm pretty sure he's a Bama fan too!

3. We fire coaches as quick as we hire them. You lose.....your out. You lose to your biggest rival.....guaranteed one way ticket OUT!

2. No matter how great we are, all the other teams in our conference say we suck. Doesn't matter who it is.....if you win, the rest of your division will bitch about why you really aren't that good. Again....haters hate!!

1. Drumroll please........The main reason people HATE football in the south.....Because the south dominates college football. Period! We may be fat, we may be illiterate but we can play some damn football in the south!! Roll Tide....Go Noles!!

Friend with Benefits

2011-01-02T08:00:00.003-06:00

I think it is funny that the term "friend with benefits" is used in such a bad way. I think of all my friendships as an absolute benefit in my life. I gain different benefits from different friends for different reasons. But, I have a friendship with someone that not many people know about . We'll call him "D". It isn't that I keep it a secret, I just haven't really talked about it. It is a really special friendship!! This is why.......

About 3 years ago and old friend of mine from my hometown contacted me on Classmates.com. I love hearing from people from the past, love catching up and seeing what people are doing these days so was eagar to see what he had been up to all these years. Back "then" D was a really good looking guy. All american looking, tall, dark and handsome, talented football player, quiet, and not one that had a lot of drama surrounding him. That is really all I knew of him and haven't seen him since he was in high school.

When he contacted me, we exchanged emails and began catching up. He sent me some pictures of him "now" and I could see he had gained quite a bit of weight and had a darkness to his eyes I just couldn't place. But, here I am a million pounds heavier than I was back then so who am I to judge. He was cordial, had an excellent memory of high school experiences and times from back in the day. Eventually we chatted on the phone.

As our conversations continued over the months he began to open up about trouble he had been in after high school. Well....A LOT of troubles. He was very open and I was of course taken back because he really was a good boy back in our younger days. I went on the probate site for our hometown and was able to read a looonnnngggg list of his arrests. Primarily drug and alcohol related and interestingly they progressively got worse over time. He had also been kicked out of the military. The behaviorist in me was certianly in deep analysis over this but it didn't make me like him any less. I enjoyed our occasional conversations and didn't really think much of anything past that. Then......he dropped a bomb on me that made it all make sense.

D tells me one nite that the root of his troubles was his mental illness. Not long after high school he was diagnosed with Paranoid schizophrenia. A more severe form of the illness in fact. YES...WOW!! The military first detected the issues. Since I have an extensive background working and studying in the area of mental illness, I knew that he most likely had the symptoms and the issues in early high school. How come no one noticed?? I almost feel like he fell through the cracks. Did his family notice? Someone should have known he was struggling. I certianly didn't. But I also believe that every single experience in my life happens for a reason and there is a reason our lives have crossed paths again. I still enjoyed our friendship just the same.

Well, not sure how much you know about Paranoid schizophrenia (PS). Certianly not a fun disorder to have if there is such a thing. Paranoid schizophrenia is a chronic mental illness in which a person loses touch with reality. PS is a serious, lifelong condition that can lead to many complications, including suicidal behavior. Delusions and hallucinations are the symptoms that make paranoid schizophrenia most distinct from other types of schizophrenia. Things like hearing voices or thinking someone is out to get you are the most classic behaviors of PS.

I think I'd rather not know I had a mental illness than to go in and out of normalicy. What is interesting it that I really do love talking to D. We have been "back" friends for about 3 years now. We have great conversations about football, our hometown, friendships, family etc. I would say that 90....no maybe 80....well ok.....75% of our conversations are "normal". He is still mentally ill. Thankfully, D is medicated and we have had conversations about the importance of him taking his meds. He occasionally drinks and I have made it known that he really probebly shouldn't. He knows he shouldn't.

I have gotton to experience some mild paranoid behaviors a few times. He always thinks his neighbors are doing something to his truck, that someone broke into his house, that people in public don't like him or like the way he talks or the way his shoes look etc. I love these conversations just as much as our conversations about football etc. I don't tell him he is imagining it, or that it isn't true. We just talk about it. I just roll with. I just try to get him to think rationally about it all and can usually get him to realize that things are not the way he is perceiving them to be.

I have also experienced few of his SEVERE behaviors too. Times when I can tell he is having an "episode". Those phone calls often come at 2am, loud music blaring the backgroud, and he is either over the top happy and giddy or completly freaking out that someone is trying to get in the house etc. Again, I just roll with it.

He doesn't have a lot of friends. He has had people come in and out of his life that claimed to be friends that were taking his money, using him, not setting a good example etc. VERY sad to me!! The government (Vet benefits) has helped him buy a home, pays his bills, medical insurance etc. They even paid for him to take college classes online!! I'd like that slap that genius in the forehead....D is mentally ill, course expectations almost pushed him over the edge. Regardless, he is somewhat taken care of. He has a good family too. I'm not so sure what or who is really helping him. At least he is medicated (can't say that enough).

So our friendship has been completly long distance. Like I said, I enjoy talking to him every now and then and that is really the extent of it. I do not mind be a source of support and friendship for him. I like being his friend. He is still living in my hometown and I NEVER go home. I see my family at our lakehouse up here all the time. I'm sure I'd go see him if I went home though. However, he recently asked me if he could come visit me in Birmingham. I was like......uummmmmm.

Yup....ummmmmm. I was like, "well, lets just see what I have going on with school etc.". Totally a lame response I know. But, I also know that I am comfortable with our long distance friendship or maybe meeting for lunch if I go home. I talk to him on the phone occasionally but I don't know what he is like day to day or good day vs. bad day. I love him and love being his friend. Not so sure I am comfortable beyond that. I feel so shallow and judgemental for that. But I also worked in a mental hospital (locked down/padded walls) for over 3 years. I know and understand the goods and bads of mental illness. I know that I have watched wayyyyyyyyy too much true crime shows where an individual with PS had an episode and killed someone. I know I am "not cool" for even worrying about it but I am. Birmingham is a long way from his comfort zone for sure. I think I'll just make a trip home soon and see him that way.

Regardless....I am blessed to have this friend and his amazing benefits he brings to my life. Sigmund Freud said it best, "Every normal person, in fact, is only normal on the average. His ego approximates to that of the psychotic in some part or other and to a greater or lesser extent!"

New Year Resolutions.....New Whatever!!

2011-01-01T18:21:00.000-06:00

I think "New Years Resolutions" are silly. I am all for setting personal goals and I guess if we need a reason or a time to aspire to set a goal, then Jan. 1st seems to be a better time than ever. However, I need to make changes in my life DAILY. I am so far from being where I need to be that every day for me is some sort of aspiration towards a personal goal. I mean, in all reality, the fact that I am alive and breathing could be a personal goal right?? There are times I have so many personal goals that I need a goal to just chill and stop making personal goals. I guess it could be worse. I could see myself as "perfect" and in no need for any personal changes. There are many of "those people" out there. I'm far from that. I blog a lot about my challenges and adventures with my ADD and Type A personality. I do see it as a blessing more than a curse. However, the combo of the two makes me a little over analytical at times. I will pick myself apart. Not in a depressed, no self-worth, low self-esteem kind of way. I know I am a good girl, good person, good citizen etc. But in a "Ok....now what can we work on now" kind of way. I am never satisfied with just "me". My brain never shuts off. I am always thinking about what I need to do better in my life. For example, I need to be skinnier, heathier, calmer, quieter, more forgiving, more trusting, more focused, less impulsive, say "no" less, make more time for others, shop less, sleep more, eat less, date MORE and with less analysis, less judegment, travel more, exercise more, laugh more etc etc. I am sure we could all just go on and on for ourselves. I just don't see the point of setting a goal in January and no other time of the year. So, my resolution is to not have a resolution. It is to just keep trying to do something every day to make ME a better person. I am a "work in progress"!

It's fun to play at the YMCA!!

2010-05-23T23:45:00.004-05:00

Do you have kids....children? Any age? If you do, let me tell you where your kids needs to be every summer. The YMCA! Can I just tell you I am in love. I am in love with the YMCA and we've only been together about a month.

I have worked with children in a professional setting for over 20 years. Not babysitting.....but in a PROFESSIONAL setting. How many of you can say you have done some aspect of your job for that long. Not many! Being a professional in the field of education, child development, disabilities, etc etc. and being a professional Type A person; I am over the top crazy for rules, professionalism, accountability, training, motivation, and ethics.

I have just spent the past week training to work at the YMCA this summer. I have had the most extensive, detailed (exhausting) training that was fun, inspirational and motivating. The YMCA takes thier business serious and children are their #1 priority. I have been trained in the inner workings of the Y, how to work with my peers, how to work with children, how to sing, dance and play games, how to interact with parents, how to be safe and how to intertwine all of this with Judeo-Christian values. I have been trained by other counselors, leaders, directors, chaplans, DHR, the Y's insurance company and American Red Cross. I have been away from that sort of professional environment since I quit teaching for sure. I am so fired up for this summer and had a few thoughts from my past week of training I wanted to share with you:

1. Being in the professional work world for 20 years, I am so much more appreciative of the level of excellence the YMCA strives to work towards and maintain than I would have as a college-aged counselor.

2. This experiences is going to be so healthy for my mind, body and spirit. I needed this break from the autism world for a little while.

3. If I would have known then what I know now, I would have worked for the YMCA a long time ago. Forget a PhD!!

5. I don't care what people think when I am up dancing and singing in front of my peers, I dont care what I look like in 90 degree weather with 100% humidity, and I don't care if I look cute....or skinny in my shorts.

6. If I had children, I would totally raise them participating in YMCA activities.

7. Tripping and falling during a game and hitting the ground at 60 MPH hurts A LOT worse when you are 38 than when you are 18. The aftermath is delayed but when it shows up, it is bbbaadddddddd!

8. I am Autotelic.......in everything I do and I never knew that was what it is called. But I am seriously one bad mamma jamma autotelic chick!

9. Bessie the Hefer is the Queen of all Cows, Fudgy has a chocolate head and a chocolate tail, That was one sticky moose, and Herman was thhiiiiiiiisss big!

10. You never know where life is going to take you, but it is one heck of a ride. I am ready for the ride this summer at YMCA Summer Camp!!

House of Blues

2010-04-13T21:37:00.002-05:00

So...I took my house off the market Sunday. Had to formally sign paperwork and everything. I was perfectly fine selling it for nothing, making nothing and getting the heck out of Birmingham until Wells Fargo told me it would be considered a Short Sale at $125,000 (more than I owe on the house) and then the realtor told me a week later that I was asking $6,000 more than the other houses in my section. I needed to drop to $119,000 or below to even compete. So.....no more house for sale. Wells Fargo called tonight and literally got excited on the phone when I told them no thanks....no short sale for me!! It's a bit depressing since I am BORED out of my mind in this town and want some new scenery! I'll reevaluate in the fall and go from there. Rental property may be in my future as a home owner. I'd actually make money off of a rental. Sad huh?

An even bigger stress, as if I don't have enough, is that I am back on the hunt for a "real job". Not to knock my fellow GTA's at Bama or HANDS co-workers but this girl has got to make some real $$. I also need 6 more months as a state employee to be "vested"....get my retirement one day. I am pretty darn sure I am not going to be living in Alabama post-PhD so I need to get those 6 months. Again, no offense, but I will not be going back to Shelby Co. Not even sure I'd be allowed back which is a shame since I live next door to a FAB Shelby Co. elementary school. I did my time there. I am looking at University of Alabama (outside of my department), state department, other local universities and other good school systems around. I just have to be a state employee.....I'll cut grass on the Quad for Seuss's sake!! They get the same benefits teachers get....just saying. I really really want to find at job at Bama. I LOVE it there!

I am taking a break from Autism for the summer. I have slowly been taking a break from it all together. It has been my LIFE for years. I am going to go work at the YMCA in Pelham as a camp counselor. I love working with kids and I need to get up off my big butt and get moving more!! Oh...and it is a guaranteed 40 hours a week! (Remember....this girl needs to make some $$$). I haven't gained a lot of weight in the doc program but I have gotton really flabby. Looks like I have gained a lot of weight though. Just A LOT of sitting weight and I am very frustrated with it. Excited about this job. My bestie is a boss at this Y so I will get to see her everyday and that is the icing on the cake for me. My last day at HANDS is April 29th and my last day at Bama is May 14th!! I have the option of keeping my GTA position at Bama next year but I am still undecided. Bored with it like I am everything else. Told you it was time for some new scenery!!

If We Don't Change, We Don't Grow

2010-04-10T20:32:00.008-05:00

From an exercise in Real Simple, circa spring 2007.

try: going to bed earlier

see: someone for who they really are, not what I wish they would be

taste: dependence for a change

listen: more and speak less

visit: local attractions

start: making my health a priority not an option

stop: saying no

organize: finances

read: literature that is not related to research

play: more with less boundaries

learn: golf; tennis

Where ya beeeeeaaaan??

2010-04-08T00:16:00.004-05:00

So busy I know, I know! The random interactions I have with people outside of academia always end up in a conversation about my school, work, stress, lack of time with others, why aren't you married etc etc so just to enlighten those that worry about my lack of social interaction....here is "where I bean" for the past 8 months.

August:

-started back working at Bama

-continued my summer behavioral therapy job

-started my dissertation process

-clearly crazy to attempt all of this??

September:

-FSU v. Miami game

-Bachelorette weekend

-fell IN LOVE with the lead singer of Phar Fletcher

-Gall Bladder died

October:

-Emergency gall bladder surgery

-Black Crowes concert 9 days later

-In best friend's wedding in New Orleans 2 weeks later

-Started dating my cable boy

-Bama/Tennessee game (Go Cody)

-Halloween Party in "Carilla"

November:

-Bama/LSU game

-Over the cable boy

-Date with a 40 something divorcee who could only talk about his 3 kids (1st date/last date)

-Thanksgiving with family

-Date with another 40 something that was a nervous wreck his voice quivered when he talked (1st date/last date)

-Iron Bowl party with my Maddie

December:

-My second nephew was born...and our family blessed

-Ornament swaps

-SEC Champions.......enough said!! (I didn't go but felt the need to tell you this in case you forgot)

-Booked a random trip to Pasadena (see above)

-Painted by U with the girls

-Annual Girls Baking Day at my house

-The Flu!!

-Christmas with lots of family

-REST

January:

-5 days in Pasadena for the National Championship.....Roll Tide!!

-No need for anything else in January! I'm content!

February:

-Flip Burger Boutique

-Super Bowl Party (Who Dat???.....you dare ask?)

-Snow Days

-A surprise Valentine.....he wasted his time by the way!!

-Grandfather died

March:

-Funeral stuff

-Shelby County Stomach Plague tried to kill me

-Free movies

-Spring Break (so I could study)

-Passed Oral Comps.....how, I don't know but I did

-Booked trip to Orlando

-Put house up for sale

April:

-Autism Lesgislation Day

-Walk for Autism

-Honored at Bama for...... (TBA)

-A-Day game

-Grandmother's 90th birthday party

So......I'm a happy kinda busy!! Will start blogging more so I can freely express my "two cents" with you~~

It's about time....

2010-04-08T00:12:00.001-05:00

Hold on to your seats because I am getting ready to make a come back.....I have way too much I need to say about way too many things to keep quiet~

My 50 Simple Pleasures

2009-08-04T23:35:00.000-05:00

many of you often remind me.....I am one of the busiest girls most people know. I am really good at being busy though. I love it and no, I don't hate being at home, I just love living for every minute of every day. So, when I saw a list of "Simple Pleasures" online I had the idea that I should share mine with the world. That way everyone will know.....as crazy, busy and exhausting my life is right now, it is really most wondermous and fullfilling! Here are the simple pleasures in my life!! What are yours?
1. Fresh fruit
2. Walking on the beach at sunset or sunrise
3. Listening to good music in the car
4. Taking a long, relaxing shower
5. Real Coke....Ice cold
6. A good massage
7. Popcorn from a pan
8. The smell of spring and fall
9. Watching the sunset at my lake house
10. A good cry for a good reason
11. Snuggling
12. My nephew when he says my name
13. Dancing with my girls
14. Laughing until you can't breath
15. A long conversation with a good friend
16. A clear sky on a starry nite1
7. Being lazy in the rain
18. A clean house
19. The smell of clean laundry
20. Fully loaded pizza
21. Good memories of those that have passed
22. Watching a child connect with the world
23. Success
24. Fresh-baked cookies
25. Helping others in need
26. Making someone smile or laugh
27. A nature hike
28. Floating in the water
29. Watching the ocean
30. Reese’s peanut butter cups
31. PB&J sandwich and plain Lays Chips
32. A college football stadium full of fans
33. Seeing debt shrink
34. A nite swim
35. A gentle breeze
36. The feeling after a good workout.
37. Checking something off your to-do list
38. Coloring in a coloring book
39. Swinging on a swing (I knew I had to clarify this one)
40. Grilling out
41. Riding horses
42. Catching up with old
. Making new friends
44. Comfy PJs
45. Undeveloped land
46. Watching the eagle soar at my lake house
47. A first kiss
48. Girl trips
49. A comfy bed
50. #18A on the menu at Pho

38 Lessons this past year

2009-07-15T12:32:00.000-05:00

Today is my 38th birthday! I love birthdays. I don't care about presents and cake. I just love celebrating that I am a year older and not doing too shabby! I do not feel sad about getting older at all. I am doing better than most people I know. I am educated, independent, successful, healthy and blessed. I recently told my family in a discussion about my aging grandparents that if I found out I was going to die tomorrow I would not be sad....I have nothing to be sad about. I have no complaints, no regrets, and no dreams that haven't made possible on my own. My life is amanzing and I know I have made the most of it! A lot of what drives me in life is taking a lesson from each experience....good or bad. So....I thought it would be fun to come up with 38 life lessons or experiences I have had in the past year.

1. I am stronger than most people know!
2. Being left out hurts my feelings!
3. The economy really does suck this time!!
4. I love my nephew like no love I have known!
5. Fiber has become my friend!!
6. Michael Phelps is a big dork that can swim.
7. A new president, no matter what race, will not change the sad status of our country. We have to take some responsibility people!
8. I see the good in people when I shouldn't!
9. Fitness Together is a ripoff....don't waste your money!
10. There is nothing like football in the south....NOTHING!! Roll Tide
11. Married people should not give advice to me on dating or my life....trust me, you don't get it!
12. Watching my grandparents age is harder than I thought it would be.
13. My greatest strengths are also my greatest weaknesses.
14. I could eat a sandwich everyday!
15. Kid Rock is just as ugly in person.
16. My real friends haven't given up on me yet. They "get" my PhD lifestyle!
17. I don't miss teaching in a classroom but cried on the first day of school when I saw all the cars at the school.
18. You really can be single and happy people.....See #11!!
19. The past 20 years flew by.... Class of '89!!
20. Can't believe all I have left for my PhD is a dissertation! 3 years....not to shabby!!
21. Something can ALWAYS be worse.
22. Most men are really shallow!!
23. I am blessed!
24. My friend Angela ROCKS!!
25. I am amazed at how Christians pick and choose what is "forgivable"!!
26. E-Harmony does NOT match you on 29 levels of compatibility!!
27. I will forever do what makes me happy over what makes me the most money!
28. I can still waterski!!
29. Michael Jackson.....thank you and bless you!!
30. Hiking relaxes me!
31. It irratates me when people tell me why they didn't further thier education or get a PhD!
32. Walking pnenomia kicked my butt!!
33. I have stayed in the same hotel 20 times in the past year!
34. My cats need a behavior plan!
35. I was an awesome Minnie Mouse!
36. Seattle is a cool town!
37. My sister-in-law's sister is really cool!!
38. I am 38 and FABULOUS!!

OOppss

2009-06-24T00:12:00.003-05:00

OK...so I lied above when I said I promise to Blog more. I do think about Blog topics constantly but just don't get around to it! Will work on that because I have lots of opinions to share!!~~

It's a Wrap!!

2009-05-15T15:33:00.002-05:00

I have finally finished school for this semester. I was sooooooo tired and burned out! I had taken all my written comprehensive exams in one semester and worked (some what) on my predissertation research. I was really burned out to the point that I didn't want to read or write anything so.....I didn't!! My professors highly recommended that I take some time off to "clear my head" so....didn't have to ask me twice to do that. I have all my dissertation stuff stacked neatly in piles in my office where it will stay until June 1st. That is my official "start back" date I have set. I also start summer courses at Bama then. This summer I will take my last 2 courses. I have one course left for my minor and I will take a course called Human Sexuality and another I will take to meet my foundation course requirement and I am going to take an online "readings" course. Basically....I will just read and write A LOT for that course. Shouldn't be too bad and I am totally motivated since these are the last 2 courses!!!

I am off and FREE until june 1st so promise to Blog more!!

Playing Ketchup!!

2009-04-13T23:13:00.003-05:00

I know I know....no bloggin long time! Oh me so sorry...oh oh me so sorry!! LOL (If you get that little funny I just made send me message....just so I can crack myself up).

Anywhoooooooooooo.....I have not blogged in a while because I have been busy. I know, everyone is busy, too busy for this and that so let me just enlighten you as to what I have done since my last blog which was March 5th I believe. This will be done in auctioneer style so hang on.....here weeeeeeeee gooooooooooo.............

Took my Major doc comprehensive exams; left for Mardi Gras in New Orleans for 3 days; Bama and babysitting; lived through a major Alabama snow storm; filed taxes; applied for a job at UAB; ran an autism support group; set clocks forward; helped my mom set up her new townhouse; Bama and babysitting; got rid or my highlights and started growing my hair out; applied for a summer therapy job; had Spring Break; got a massage; passed my Major doc comps...woo hoo; babysit, babysit, babysit; ate tons of Sushi with Jen B.; spent 5 days at the beach with Rhonda; registered for more Bama classes; took my Minor doc comp exams; Bama and babysitting; kept 3 kids under the age of 8 for 3 days; spent 5 days in Seattle for a conference; did a poster presentation; bought Alabama student football tickets for next season; wished my brother a happy 35th; applied to get back into the classroom next year; Bama and babysitting; went to the lake for easter; went on a date with a great guy; started back working out with a trainer; had 2 flat tires which required two new tired AND ..........haven't done a lick of reading or writing for school!!!

So....I really have been busy. The babysitting stuff is getting kinda old. I am ready to get a "real" job--tired of feeling like I have to watch my money!! I like to play too much. I like to go do what I want, when I want and I am not afraid to work for it. The problem is that I really do work ALL THE TIME!!! There are days I work 3 babysitting jobs and work in Tuscaloosa in between. The babysitting is easy money but not realiable. I am going to work at an autism therapy center this summer. I miss that part of teaching. My other dilemma is that I have actually only worked for the state of Alabama 9 1/2 years!! I must complete 10 years in order to "draw" on the retirement so I have to get back into the state at some point in order to get my 6 months. Doesn't have to be in a classroom. I am looking into my options!!

I really have not been working like I should on my dissertation stuff. Now I see how people don't finish. I am tired!!! I need to get motivated but the approach is a lot like being on a diet. I need to be reading and writing for my dissertation just like I need to be losing weight. I am not morbidly obese nor sick or suffering because I need to lose weight but if I don't there really isn't that much harm done. If I don't do my reading and writing for my dissertation then there is no harm done. I have no "due dates", no scheduled appointments etc. If I don't do it.....then it just takes me longer to finish. Just like if I don't exercise, it will take me longer to lose weight. AND just like any diet/exercise regiment, I keep saying, "I'll do it tomorrow", "I'll start on Monday" or "this weekend I will hit it hard". But, I haven't yet so.......tit for tat!!!

Ladies...listen up!!

2009-03-05T00:22:00.003-06:00

Words of wisdom......

If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away. If he doesn't want you, nothing can make him stay.

Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.

Allow your intuition (or spirit) to save you from heartache.

Stop trying to change yourself for a relationship that's not meant to be.

Slower is better.

Never live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.

If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve then heck no, you can't 'be friends'. A friend wouldn't mistreat a friend.

Don't settle.

If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is.Don't stay because you think 'it will get better'You'll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.

The only person you can control in a relationship is you.

Avoid men who've got a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He didn't marry them when he got them pregnant, why would he treat you any differently?

Always have your own set of friends separate from his.

Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you. If something bothers you, speak up.

Never let a man know everything. He will use it against you later.

You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.

Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are...Even if he has more education or in a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god. He is a man, nothing more nothing less.

Never let a man define who you are.

Never borrow someone else's man.

A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.

All men are NOT dogs.

You should not be the one doing all the bending...Compromise is two way street.

You need time to heal between relationships...There is nothing cute about baggage...Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.

You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you...A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals...Look for someone complimentary...not supplementary.

Dating is fun...even if he doesn't turn out to be Mr. Right.

Make him miss you sometimes...when a man always know where you are, and you're always readily available to him - he takes it for granted.

Never move into his mother's house.

Never co-sign for a man.

Don't fully commit to a man who doesn't give you everything that you need. Keep him in your radar but get to know others.

Scared of being alone is what makes a lot of women stay in relationships that are abusive or hurtful.You should know that:You're the best thing that could ever happen to anyone and if a man mistreats you, he'll miss out on a good thing.

If he was attracted to you in the 1st place, just know that he's not the only one.They're all watching you, so you have a lot of choices. Make the right one.

Ladies take care of your own hearts............

Where in the world is......

2009-03-03T13:30:00.004-06:00

I have TERRIBLE sinus plumbing!! My EN T says if he could take out my sinus plumbing and make me new plumbing he would but he can't. So, after 2 major sinus surgeries I still have constant sinus issues. But I have a new theory!! I am convinced that there is a conspiracy between medication and your body. Case in point.....Decongestants and Your Nose!! How come when I take a decongestant I feel better!! I can breath and I am also given a false sense of being better. Nothing comes out....nothing!! It just disappears!! But I don't care at that moment because I feel better and I "think" I am getting better!! So..... where does it go?? Because, like any prowler with bad intentions, it comes back at nite when I am sleeping. I wake up in the AM looking like someone punched me in the left eye and feeling 5 steps from death. Then, I take another decongestant and poof.....congestion is gone. It goes and hides!!! It has a hiding place somewhere in the depths of the galaxy of my head and sneaks back out at nite. I will catch you one day.....I will!! Until then...Mucenex is the bomb!!!!

Wrap it up already!!

2009-03-01T10:45:00.000-06:00

I have so many people that tell me they keep up with me through my Blog so I need to be a better Blogger. Really, I am hard to keep up with period. Not one day is consistent, not one week the same in Tuscaloosa and not one weekend boring even when I want it to be. So....I will enlighten you with all the happening of what remained of February after Comps. Yes, life did go on after Comps amazingly.

After Comps I was EXHAUSTED. But surpringly exhausted!! I didn't expect to be that mentally drained but I was. I managed to drag myself to see my hairdoo gooroo on Thursday. I had her tone down the highlights this time so I can look "more professional" in case I do get a call to interview at UAB. Just until I get the job and then I am back to uplifting the doo. I packed that nite and took off to New Orleans on Friday for MARDI GRAS!!!! I went with my "gurl" Rhonda and her finace and met family and friends down there. Had a blast.....was still so tired but had a blast!! I'm not really sure why I look like I got punched in the eye in this pic of me and R but this may be a precurser to the sinus infection I have now???

On Monday after Mardi Gras it was back to reality. I had to go to Tuscaloosa EVERY day this past week. Meetings for my dissertation, work, teaching, and a conference. Yes, by Friday I felt like poo. But loved the Autism Conference!! State Rep. Cam Ward announced the posting of a State Autism Coordinator Position so that had my brain wrapping around the possibilites of this job. We were also under MAJOR tornado threats all day Friday. Bad bad weather!! So of course I decided to drive back to Birmingham in it. I really think I have this secret desire to see if I can land in Oz. I have driven home in two really bad tornado threats like that and have managed to avoid tonados everytime.....darn it!!

Friday nite I threw a party/cookout for my one of my fav guys CK. He turned 30!! I know, whatever!!! I'd love to be 30 again!!! It was a small crew, low key and my BFF guy "G" did all the cooking.....thank you "G"!! Old neighbors Jamie and Shelley had a fab cake made for CK but.....can't show those pics on here!! Great nite with great friends though....Happy Bithday Hootch!!

By Sunday we had MAJOR snow. I had 4 inches here. This was the first time I had seen "windy snow". Snow that was coming down hard and coverd you in flakes. Crazy!! Even crazier....I drove to a 8 year olds birthday luncheon in the heaviest part of the snow. Was fun and got to spend time with family!! Happy Birthday Natalie!!

Now, I am ready to get going on my predissertation research and wait to see if I get called for an interview at UAB. I decided NOT to apply for the State Coordinator position......too much work than I need to take on until I finish school!! I am also counting down the days until my beach trip!! Two more weeks!!

Done!!!!

2009-02-19T00:19:00.003-06:00

I finished my doc written comps today. I am so exhausted I feel sick....not sleepy but just drained. I think I did good though! I think?? Day 1 of comps...on Monday went great. I had 3 questions and 4 hours to write. Today, Wednesday, was 4 questions in 4 hours. I was hard to get all 4 questions answered in 4 hours and get it all checked. So....we'll see. I had to teach at Bama tonight and was so thankful for a guest speaker and student presentations. I am back home in my bed and if it wasn't for my addiction to Facebook I'd already be asleep!!

Getting my doo (hair) did (cut and colored) Thursday and leave for New Orleans Friday for MARDI GRAS!! I am feeling a little bit of Hurricane sippin coming on!!~~

Days 3 - 6 of studying for Comps

2009-02-15T12:56:00.002-06:00

Ok ok....so I got a little behind on the blogging about my week of studying for comps. I had several emails from people, worried that I had cracked under pressure or just gotten so overwhelmed that I had no time for anything else. It was actually quite the contrary!!

Days 1-3 of my studies were spent just "figuring it all out". Getting my information together to answer a question, finding research based citations, organizing and organizing these thought etc. So, by Thursday (day 4) I was ready to start just memorzing cites. On day 4 I also had scheduled 2 babysitting jobs, one afternoon and one evening so the timing was just right to babysit. So this is how it all went down....really!!

Thursday:
Had a 9am appointment here at the house with my personal trainer then met a friend for lunch (who ended up asking me to be in her wedding)!! Afternoon babysitting job got cancelled so I ran to Old Navy to exchange a gift for someone, did a little spring peek window shopping and headed home to study. Went to my nite babysitting job and was too tired to memorize so I made outlines for each question. Easy breezy day!!

Friday: Had a 12-4 babysitting job. Put the kiddies down for nap and had my first 2 questions memorized in like an hour!! No joke!! I told yall in Post #1 about my studies that God blessed me with the ability to memorize like crazy!! (Also a coping skill I aquired as an educationally challenged young person). So...once I had questions #1 & 2 memorized I just said them over and over in my head every now and then. Would get on the treadmill and say the cites over and over, in the shower, driving in the car, laying in bed at nite, to the cats....etc etc.

Saturday: (Valentine's Day aka Singles Awareness Day)
I'll post about my Valentine's Day in a different blog but basically I didn't work on memorizing my question #3 until late Saturday nite. Had a great day!! No Valentine but a great day!!

Sunday:
Up early to clean, pack and make sure the kitties are taken care of before I leave for Tuscaloosa. Sat down and memorized my cites for question #3 in about 45 minutes. Ran through and said all the cites over and over for questions 1-3 (day one of testing). I have decided that what will work best for me is to not try to memorize cites for testing Wednesday. My little brain can't handle that so for now....I am only focused on Monday's stuff.

I am off to the hotel in Tuscaloosa now. Will study a little and eventually go work out at the Bama Rec Center tonight. One last good sweat before the morning. I'll let you all know how testing Monday went. I am not nervous at all. I think I am more worried because I am not that worried. I keep thinking I should be more stressed or freaked out. Mr. T (my doc partner in crime) is sooooo much more stressed than me. Maybe I should be....and maybe I will be after day 1 of testing but for now. I am COOL COOL COOL!!

Day 2 of Comprehensive Exam Studies

2009-02-11T00:19:00.002-06:00

Today I didn't get started on my studies until about 1:30pm....same as yesterday so at least I am consistant! I had a meeting at 10am about financial planning for families of childen with special needs, was supposed to work out with the trainer but we had to rearrange that since he QUIT working at my gym today (yup!!) and had to go pick up a dog I am keeping for the next week. Did a drive-by through McDonalds (shhhhhhhh...don't tell the trainer) and headed to the house!

It is now midnight and I have been working non-stop with small breaks throughout. I feel really good about things today. I made major progress on the question that had me perplexed so that is good. I am still not finished finding all my information and citations for the questions. I will wrap that up tomorrow and plan to do nothing but memorize Thursday through Sunday!!

My personal trainer will be coming to my house to train me starting tomorrow so I am looking forward to that midday break! I don't even have to leave the house!! The professor position is also posted at UAB now so I will be applying for that this week. I made sure Bama knew I was really interested in the job they discussed with me too so either way I feel good to have these options in the financial times we are in right now!!

I did get to talk to some family and friends today. Talked to my girls and we are trying to figure out what we are going to do for "Single's Awareness Day" on Saturday....LOL!!

Horse Update.....

2009-02-09T23:52:00.003-06:00

This goes along with my post from Sunday but....

I have been given a horse!! Yup, a real live horse. Well, to ride that is!! One of my fav mom's I work for has a horse boarded at Oak Mtn.!! This super mom sent me an email last nite and said she didn't realize I had a love for horses and would LOVE for me to ride her horse anytime!! How cool is that??? So...the horse and I will have a supervised meet and greet first. I will meet mom and the horse at the stables when I get back from my doc comps. If the horse and I hit it off.....she is mine all mine to ride!! Soooooo excited!

Now if someone can just find me a cowboy. A real live cowboy....that would be great! I want one of those when I grow up too (see Sunday's post)!! ~~

Day 1 of Comprehensive Exam Studies

2009-02-09T23:18:00.005-06:00

Today was the big day! Got my questions for my doctoral comps and I am well on my way to getting things together to study. The day didn't really go as planned but nonetheless.....I am here!! The questions were "supposed" to arrive via email this morning. Mr. T (my doctoral partner in crime) had taken off work and driven down from Hartsell to wait for his questions so we could study together. Well...by 10 am when we didn't have our questions and the office secretary informed us that our chair had not turned them in yet......we were fuming!! Like sick to our stomachs fuming!! So with nothing better to do we took my car and dropped it off for brakes and one tire (which meant I later dropped over $300 to pay that bill), grabbed a Starbucks, cursed a few times at the fact that it was now lunchtime and still no questions, and had lunch at O'Charleys.

We finally got our questions around 1pm. Mr. T HATES his questions and I am only really stressed about one of mine. I chalk that up to the fact that "Ignorance is Bliss" since I have never take comps and he has twice for other degrees. I agree that my questions are better than his....hee hee!! I keep telling him it is because my professors know I am not as smart as him but since I am doing a PhD and he is doing a EdD he doesn't think it is funny! He and I do have 1 of the same questions and one that is almost the same. Other than that we are on our own!! There is one question that I totally don't get.....can't find any info online and neither can Mr. T. Not fun!! The others I understand but will have to do a lot of work to figure out how to answer them.....and then memorize that crap over the next week. But, I do think I am going to be ok.

Can I just take a moment to say, "Thank you God for blessing me with the ability to stay up all nite and not be tired the next day, thank you God for blessing me with the ability to memorize like there is no tomorrow, and thank you God for blessing me with OCD and Type-A personality so that I am more organized than the mob!! Amen

It is now 11:30 pm and I am throwing in the towel for the nite. Have an appointment in the AM, then hour workout with the trainer and I will be back in the books. ~~

It's time......

2009-02-08T23:09:00.003-06:00

I cannot believe it. I really cannot believe that at 8am tomorrow morning (February 9th), I will receive an email that will contain about 8-10 questions that will ultimately determine my fate in the PhD program. I will receive my doctoral exam questions. 1 from each course I have taken in my major....special education. Each question will require me to memorize about 5-6 citations that are relavant to the topic. The graders will not only expect me to "answer" the question, totally answer the question and only the question, but I will also be expected to know the big names in the field related to the question and be able to cite the research of those big names. That is about 48-50 names and thier research total. This also means I need to know proper grammer, sentence structure, word usage, spelling, etc. Big deal!! Big, big deal!!

I will get the questions in the morning and have 1 week to study. I will take the first written comprehensive exam on Monday, February 16th at 8:00 am until 12:30 pm. This exam will foucs on "general" questions related to special education. I will have 4 hours to answer 4 questions. I will go eat a nice lunch when I am done, hit the gym mid-afternoon for a little destress, and then study the remainder of the nite and on Tuesday. I am staying in a hotel during the exam week. On Wednesday, February 18th, I will take my second round of written exams. Again, 4 hours of writing. This exam's questions will focus on specific topics from my coursework in my major area....special education. I'll have another nice lunch, hit the gym and then I teach at 6pm that nite. YUP....I have to teach when this is all over. I will be soooooooo exhausted!! But....la la la la life goes on!!

I am not nervous at all right now. Actually excited and cannot believe I have made it to this point in my program. This is it...a defining moment. Best case scenerio, I pass this round of written exams!! I will get the results in about 3 weeks. My strengths and weaknesses in my writing and knowledge will be noted. I will then be expected to take oral comprehensive exams a few weeks after that. My oral comps will focus on the weak areas noted in the grading results from my written exams. I will stand before the members of my doctoral committee and they will basically....drill me. Firing Squad so to speak. But...I have to do it so no reason to stress about that either. IF IF IF.....I pass oral exams they will let me know and I will be ready to start my dissertation. Good deal right??

Now, I must be realistic and share that info with you (my 3 readers) too!! There is the possibility I don't pass written comps in 2 weeks. So, if that were to happen then I am done for the semester. I will cry for a day and then put it all behind me until next semester. If I don't pass then I have a second attempt in the Fall semester. That is a long wait and puts me really far behind in my program. I must pass this time. But if I don't pass written exams now and again fail in the fall then I am done!! Yes...totally done. I do not pass go, do not more forward and don't even get a "Get out of Jail" free card. The program is over! No chance to finish.....very sad huh? That is where nerves come in to play.

So, I am positive and I know I will KICK BUTT this week studying!! I will do great on my exams and I plan to graduate in August or December of 2010!!

I'll Blog again this week sometime to let you all know how it is going!!

Feeding the addiction

2009-02-08T20:44:00.002-06:00

Ok...so yesterday I got totally hooked on hiking and went back out there today to do a harder trail. Before I left I decided to call the park and see if they had any openings for horseback riding. Ahhh....they did! I had just missed the 90 min. trail ride so I settled for the 45 min. trail ride. I thought that would be a good way to spend my last day before I start studying for my comprehensive exams tomorrow morning. I got another pic-a-nic lunch, sat in seclusion by the water and thanked God for every ounce of my life and prayed for those not as fortunate as me then headed off to ride my horse. Had a great time and will be back soon for some more. Now....I am trying to figure out how to add horse boarding to my already mounting debt. I think I really want a horse when I grow up. Yes.....I am serious!!

New Addiction

2009-02-07T20:26:00.004-06:00

Oh my gosh.....I have totally discovered a new addiction for the Spring Season that is approaching. HIKING!!! Today is was in the low 70's here which is my fav weather!! I had been feeling like I had a little stuck-in-the-house overload so I made the decision to go hiking today at Oak Mountain State Park. I actually decided to just go out there and take in all of God's glory and clear my mind. So, I packed a few textbooks and a highlighter, stopped by Subway and got a nice healthy picnic, then drove out to Oak Mountian State Park. It was just beeeee-uuuu-tiful!!! I drove all the way there with the windows down and classic rock cranked up. Parked in a remote spot where I could see some picnic tables right on the shoreline that faced nothing but the lake. It was so peaceful and serene.

I ate my pic-a-nic then read one of my books and hit the first trail. I was walking so fast over all the roots and mud and stones that I didn't notice the downwardness of the trail.....which means straight up on the way back. But...did that and yes, was out of breath and sweating but it felt sooooooooooooo good and just rejuvinated my soul!! After that I was just going to ride around and see what other trails were around the state park and I discovered a road that led to "Peavine Falls". It was a good drive straight up hill and sooooo worth it. I parked and decided to check out the trail that led to the "Falls". Little did I know that this trail has 2 options and niether are an easy way out...you can go STRAIGHT up....I mean STRAIGHT STRAIGHT up to get to the top of the "Falls" or STRAIGHT down....down down down to be at the base of the "Falls". I decided to go to the base this time....which was a slippery trip down and a stair-stepper, elliptical, treadmill hell coming back up. I didn't even care if the people way up ahead of me could hear my heavy breathing....it was such a good climb. "Peavine Falls" was totally cool too.

So, because I am hooked on this new activity and it will be in the low 70's again here tomorrow, I am going back. I decided I will start at the "Falls" and climb the trail to the top, climb down the actual falls, and then back up the hell (no not hill...I meant to say hell) to the parking lot. Do a little pic-a-nic around the lake, and off to see what other trails are waiting to hear my heart beat as loud as my panting!!

"Excuse Me"

2009-02-06T20:55:00.004-06:00

I am a full-blooded behaviorist in theory. I love to people watch, analyze human behavior, and put it all together in a nice little diagnosis. Case in point.....I am wondering at what period in the history of our society did the words "Excuse Me" become offensive instead of proper? I was shopping yesterday in a thrift store of all places. It was a bit crowded and there were massive amounts of carts and screaming kids everywhere. Me, being the pro shopper I am, can make my way through that store and get all the best bargains before most can even make it to the shoes. So, I am doing "my thing", cruising the aisles, and checking out the goods and had to constantly say excuse me to people blocking the aisles or because half the aisle was taken up by a worker putting out new goods. I was blocked several times in an aisle by the Olympic Shopper too......you know those people that see you coming so feel like they have to block off half the rack so you cannot get in. Gosh knows that .99 cent shirt with the embrodered sunflower on it was exactly what I was making a beeline for. Anywho......After several "excuse me's" during the trip I realize how "puffy" people were getting when I said it. It was constant and I was really taken back. I guess I never realized this new trend. Some pushed thier cart forward with a huff or an eye roll, some just acted like they didn't hear me and others would move the least amount they had to move because they were afraid I may "cut" in front of them in the Extra Small section. I mean.....that size 2 petite mini skirt would look great on me this summer. It really was quite funny to me how competitive thrift shopping had become. But I wasn't sure if it was a thirft store "thing" so the researcher in me decided to do a little experiment the rest of the day. Every store or place I went into I put myself in a position to have to say "excuse me" to someone......just to see what they would do. The reactions were not just relevant to thrift store behavior...it was everywhere. I guess I just never realized how competitive, fast paced or just irritable society had become. So....to make things easier for these sad sad people, I think it would only be fair to just ram my cart into thiers, bump them in line, or walk in front of them without saying a word. That way...they have a reason to be spend this negative energy on something worth while! I'll let yall know how that experiment goes.....LOL!!

Lost!!

2009-01-22T01:01:00.004-06:00

Since my "home" schedule is soooooo sporatic I do not commit myself to all the bandwagon shows that everyone is so obsessed with. I cannot keep up with the week to week drama of who died, who loved, who left etc etc.....who cares??? I am also anti-bandwagon anyways so I refuse to watch anything just because everyone else does. I have to actually like the show and not all the gossip I can do the next day at the office. My life to too busy for all that!

So, I discovered that I can watch what I want, when I want and at a much more sensible pace when I buy the boxset of shows I know I will like. My first "hook" was The Sopranos. For those of you that don't know I am totally fascinated with The Mob. Mainly because it is real, could really happen....no does really happen and is a culture I am so enthralled with. I finished the entire 6 Season box set last spring. WE won't talk about how I feel about the ending.....just not up for discussion at this time!! I had more time off in the summer so didn't need a late nite TV fix until now. I had to think long and hard about the next show. I KNOW I don't like Desperate Housewives, House, ER, Nip/Tuck, Dr. McDreamy....none of that soap opera crap. I am more the nailbiting, edge of the seat, mystery/drama type. So...I did a little research on the Lost series and knew it was for me!

I "won" a brand new boxset on Ebay last week, came in the mail yesterday and I stayed up until 2am last nite watching the first 4 episodes. Hooked.....hooked I say!!! It is 1:15 am and I am almost through the next 4 episodes!! Ahhhhhhhh.......love late nite TV fixes almost as much as my Movie Binges!!

Dave Matthews....here I come!!

2009-01-20T22:54:00.005-06:00

"Celebrate we will. Life is short but sweet for certain"...Dave Matthews!! Love love him and I secured my tickets to see him on April 20th here in our outdoor amphitheather! Thanks to one of my fave girls AGM we were able to buy the presale tickets tonight for American Express cardholders!! Very excited.....and I even bought an extra ticket. So, I need a date!!! I can tell you who it won't be!!

Movie Binges

2009-01-19T20:00:00.005-06:00

I didn't get to go out of town this weekend like I had planned so.......I decided to rent and watch about 10 GREAT movies!! I somehow managed to be super proactive in the house, have a fun weekend with friends AND watch all these movies. I watched "I am Legend" (awesome), "300" (another awesome), "An American Haunting" (bbblllaaahh), "The Notebook" (ahhhhhhh), "The Kite Runner", "Sopranos Season 6" (last 2 episodes again), "The Good Shepard", "Nim's Island" (cute), ...there is one more but I cannot remember??

Regardless.....I love when I do my movie binges!! Oh and for FREE! Gotta love the public library!!

Proactive

2009-01-15T17:00:00.004-06:00

I am really liking 2009 so far! I feel refreshed, in control, and proactive. Everything is going smoothly and it is amazing when you actually make an effort how much better things like school, health, and relationships go.

I am facing my doctoral comprehensive exams in 4 weeks. So, I have been taking time here and there to work on my course binders that I so eloquently Type-A assembled over the past 3 years! I cleaned them out of all the random stuff I thought I needed at the time, filed away all the articles into nice little catagorized binders, and organized everything into some sort of sense. I am so darn organized with the course I teach that I have had very little work this semester. So nice!! I am only in Tuscaloosa 2 days now and only 1 of those I am there at night. I have realized that the nites were soooooo exhausting. I was there 3 nites a week last semester. That stinks!! I am really at the end....well the end that will lead into a new beginning. If I can pass comps in February then I am good to go on the dissertation process!!

I finally kicked the yucky respiratory whatever I had for 10 weeks. But, that motivated me to take my allergy medicine like the doc said (first time I have taken this serious in 10 years), irrigate daily (so sexy but sooooo good for you), eat healthier, exercise more, and GET SLEEP!! I think I have finally realized that I have to take care of me instead of defying the cold hard truth. Actully I don't think it is so much that I realized as it is that I knew that was a battle I wouldn't win. I lost it everytime!! With the ok from the doc....I started back with my personal trainer. Three days a week!! Love it!! This is a new trainer (Jon). Jon really knows his stuff! Jon rocks!! I think Jon is taking me on as some sort of personal project. He is really motivated to whip me into shape and looks forward to the results as much as I do! I just feel better which is what I wanted! When I feel better I am more motivated and when I am more motivated I am more successful! If I just happen to lose weight in the process then that is just a bonus!!

I am loving the people I have in my life in 2009. I made some changes...subtle changes that I think will be more rewarding. The "perfect date" guy didn't work out though. He was....well let's just say he was a weeeeeee bit dependent, overly insecure, and on an emotional roller coaster. So....I said, NO thank you and moved on. So soooooooo easy for me to do. Not sure if that is good or not but I am happy and still having fun so I think it is ok!! I have some wonderful friends and that is worth so much more to me!!

So....I am loving 2009. My PT is teaching me to do daily affirmations and he is right.....Life is Good!!

Holiday Deflation

2009-01-08T21:38:00.002-06:00

I am most glad the holiday season is over. I lllooovveee Christmas, don't get me wrong but love when it is over too. Kinda the way I love storms I guess. (very good analogy). I really planned on Blogging a lot more over the time that I assume was a break from school/work but that time just flew by. So here is my 2 week holiday season in a nutshell since I didn't get to blog about each moment!!

*decorations/tree down from the attic, sore as hell the next day, allergy attack from all the dust, kicked out of personal training until my cough goes away so might as well eat whatever I want, sleep, babysit, sleep, sleep, cough, figure out how to see all the family over the next two weeks, babysit, plan a family party, wrap gifts, do a little last minute shopping, babysit, cough, wrap more gifts, babysit, go on a date with J, really liked the date J, spend the day baking with a fav friend in 80 degree weather, go on another date with J, really like the date again, visit from Kentucky family, get a surprise Christmas gift from my BFF guy, nurse sick Kentucky family, have Smith/Sippola family party at my house, babysit, sleep, go to another Smith/Sippola family gathering, spend Christmas with my BFF guy, take off to the lake for the Perry family Christmas, babysit, have a so/so New Years Eve with the date J, watch the Bama game on Chris's new 52 inch flatscreen, mourn the Bama game, start preparing to head back to Bama*

Whew.....I love structure and love routine so I am really glad the holidays are over!! Happy 2009 peeps!!

25 Random things About Me

2008-12-25T11:57:00.002-06:00

Just 25 tidbits of info you may not know about me....but are dying to know!!

1. I love love the color pink. Totally fits my personality and my tan skin!

2. I was diagnosed with ADD in college after a professor "requested" I get tested. I choose not to take meds because I love my randomness and other little ADD quirks that make me "Ashley".

3. I was a terrible student in college and had (well still have) a hard time "getting it". I am totally driven by passion and my little ADD quirks help too. It takes me about 10 times longer to figure some things out than most of my peers in my doc program!! So...I really am a walking miracle when I become Dr. Perry.

4. I am a very guarded person. I don't let very many people in. So if I do it is because I really like you so if you hurt me it hurts really bad and then I kick you right back out. Good luck getting back in.

5. I am Type-A personality with most things in my life. You will see that throughout this survey but just a few examples: my house stays in complete order and every room has a theme so everything in thoses rooms must match; my under clothes and perfume must match what I am wearing; I am the alpha-female in most situations......not controlling but in control---there is a difference!! You get the point!

6. I never get crushes on celebrities, musicians, sports figures etc. I can't really even think of anyone off hand that I think is "hot"!! I don't have any "favs" in those areas really. I used to with ball players but outgrew that. However....Shane C.--I will always have a mad crush on you!!

7. I don't like my nails being long.....toes or fingers. I don't mind "fake" nails but will get them cut really short.

8. I have a tattoo! I was 30, sober, and planned to do it in advance. It is on my lower back (a tramp stamp my dad calls it) and I love it but never show it off. It is a "funky sun"!

9. I am an adventure junkie in the sense that I want to do any crazy adventure activity at least once in my life. Jumping out of a plane, driving a Nascar race car, rock climbing, white water rafting, paragliding etc.

10. I am terrified.....or just really HATE...frogs and lizards. I will totally freak if one is near me, gets in my house or is loose in a house I am in. I hate them! (I don't mine snakes)

11. I love shoes.....cute, fun shoes!!! I am a Yellow Box and Nike Shox junkie!!

12. I think about people more than I let them know I think about them. I just get busy and the ADD kicks in and the next thing I know 1 week has turned into 1 month etc etc.

13. I don't like not being good at something so I will work really hard to be good at whatever I do. Not good but REALLY good!! So I am getting ready to master this "Guitar Hero" stuff!!!

14. I cannot stand clutter. I will get rid of things if they make me feel cluttered because my philosophy is that things can be replaced so no need to keep things I am not going to use. I cannot stand being in someone's house that is really cluttered....stresses me out!!!

15. I don't like church but LOVE God!! I am very spiritual....not religious. Living in Birmingham made me see the difference in the two.

16. I am really girly but not if that makes sense. I love pink, and cute clothes and lip gloss but will throw on a pair on jeans, boots and a ballcap and go 4-wheeling just as fast.

17. I think if I didn't go into education as a career I would have loved to have been a flight attendant. I have no idea why but that just always seemed like a fun career.

18. I do not like the doctor, attorney, professor type of men. People assume I do but I love love the good ole boy type. Country with class!! Big trucks, southern accent, loves his mama, dirty hands when he gets home from work.....whew eeeeeeeee! That is a good man!!

19. I am a sweat-er.....like I sweat really easy!! I inherited that from my dad. I dont sweat all over but will be soaked like a wet rat on my head. It messes my hair up which I HATE!!! I am seriously thinking about asking a doctor for that medicine they make to slow down the sweating.

20. I hate cold weather....HATE!! Anything below 60 to me hurts. I want to live somewhere in the US where it is mid to high 80's in the day and 60's at nite!!

21. I don't like chocolate. It tastes like medicine to me. I will eat chocolate if it has a distracter with it like peanut butter but other than that.....yuck!!

22. I am not a big drinker. I just don't see the point of just having a drink to have one. I need a reason like tailgating, girl's nite out etc. Other than that I really never drink.

23. I am anti-bandwagon with TV shows. I have never seen nor really want to see any of these shows that everyone else is obsessed with. I don't have time and really don't get into them. I am more into true crime, thriller stuff.

24. I LOVE The UFC...Ultimate Fighting for those of you that are novices!!! I can tell you all about it!!

25. I want to learn to play golf. That will be my next "goal" once I finish school. I will have every pink golf thing ever made!! Paula Creamer...watch out!

First Date!

2008-12-18T01:12:00.004-06:00

I had the best "first date" tonight. All day I was kinda anxious--not nervous--but just kinda worried about what to wear, the terrible weather (hot, wet, and humid in December!!), what if he is disappointed, what if he doesn't even show up etc. I know.....way to be confident right!! Well, this was a great "first date" because it was just easy, simple, just flowed like syrup. "J" (his name for now) and I even talked about how we weren't even nervous, how easy our conversation was, just nice and easy and NORMAL!! We have talked for about 3 weeks on the phone so I...well "we" think that helped.

For those of you that know me you know I DO NOT give very many guys the time of day. Most men that "try" to get to know me have very little room for error when it comes to really impressing me. So, I don't even go on a date with someone unless I am totally convinced that there is some sort of connection. I just don't waste time--don't have time to waste and don't think it is fair to waste someone elses time. So I think by the time I get to a date that I am totally comfortable and feel really good about things.

So....tonight was good. Really good and refreshing! To be continued........

Holiday Festivities

2008-12-13T20:27:00.002-06:00

I have somehow managed to successfully opt out of all the holiday parties and gatherings I have been invited to this season. At first I thought, "how sad"! Then as these gatherings have come and gone and I have been sitting for friends and families that have been taking off in a whoosh to get to such gatherings....I have actually really not missed everything that goes into such an occasion. I have not had to find anything cute to wear, buy any gifts, find a date for God's sake, or prepare a good dish!! Really a lot easier and less stressful!! Everyone still loves me the same whether I show up or not....right!! Right???

Time Flies!!

2008-12-11T00:23:00.004-06:00

I feel like I need to post because (1) I haven't in a while; (2) to move that Santa blog down the page because I am tired of looking at it and (3) because I am so jacked up on Predisone Steroids right now what else is there to do right so....

Well November flew by. I mean I am really amazed how quickly time flies. I know we all have crazy, busy chaotic lives because that is just how the majority of society is today. I like life that way though!! I absolutly CANNOT just sit. I can't!! I am lot like my dad is with his yard but for me it is school/work related. I don't know how to just sit and read, watch TV or a movie anymore without some paperwork, laptop, or textbook going at the same time (Or all 3)! I need noise on in the background when I am doing anything including studying. I am really diagnosed with ADD but choose not to take meds but it has made me a pretty darn good PhD student (a requirement no doubt)!! I just like life to move 100 MPH and for me to be living every second of it to the fullest!! So....time just flies past me and I forget about others unintentionally. I swear I think about yall all the time!!

So....the fact that I still have a really bad upper respiratory infection after 6 weeks of aggressive treatment is not exactly "flowing" with my "Fung Sway".....that is how we spell it here in Alabama!! I am actually at a point where I am kinda scared. I hate going to the doc, will lay in bed dying before I go but I am at a point where I think taking a few people hostage at the ENT may get me an appointment before next March. I have looked up every lung infection, disorder, cancer you could have and so of course my overeducated-self is freaking out. That's ok because I won't go to the doctor to find anything out. Bad bad patient!!

Thanksgiving was ok! It was a week before everything was due for me at Bama including 300 papers my students had written so I wasn't relaxed. I was with family for only day because I had to work the day before and had to spend 12 hours packing to tailgate for the Bama game the day after. Short and sweet holiday visit!! On a side note: Dear Family.....I love yall but I have decided to protest!! I just want a normal Thanksgiving Dinner ppppleeaassseee!! Just turkey, normal stuffing in a big pan, normal sweet potatoes with marshmallows, some green beans or corn would be nice, or just what the rest of America eats. I am protesting anything from Martha Stewart, Paula Deen, or anything from The Food Network for that much. Somehow the kitchen has become battle of the Iron Chefs!! Those foods are good but not really what the traditional Thanksgiving dinner consists of. So...no leftovers for me this year but a whole bag of rolls from Edgars!! Mmmmmmmm (but in the freezer)

I am not even in the Christmas spirit yet. Maybe if it snows here tomorrow like it is supposed to I will be revived into the season. I am still working hard at Bama and doesn't look like I will be totally done there until December 19th.....just like all my public school teacher friends. I am STILL grading student papers, doing TWS assessments, checking attendance, checking off clinicla hours, and trying to squeeze in a thought or two about my upcoming Comprehensive Exams in February!! It never ends and fits oh so lovely into my 100 MPH lifestyle....it is a love/hate relationship really. I am totally addicted to this drug......but this cannot cleanse my soul of this darn coughing cancer I have!

Tomorrow I will sit amongst the Alabama Autism big wigs and I am so darn excited. I get to "sit in" for my department chair in a big Autism Task Force meeting in the morning at UAB and will represent The U of A!! (Insert the Jefferson's Theme Song..."Moving on Up" here)!! I have been practicing my introduction all nite so I don't sound like a total dork when they ask. I even know what recommendations the Univeristy wants to make for the new Autism Regional Training Centers we are trying to get going here in Bama. I will actually "sound" intelligent I think. Really I am being goofy here because this is something I feel really passionate about. I'm pretty darn hyped about this opportunity.

Life is good yall!!!!

A Christmas Survey

2008-11-23T21:31:00.002-06:00

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Both...I like a little variety under the tree (As long as everything matches (Type A)!!)

2. Real tree or Artificial? Artificial

3. When do you put up the tree? As soon after Thanksgiving as I can!!

4. When do you take the tree down? by January 1st

5. Do you like eggnog? just a little taste

6. Favorite gift received ever? My bed that I have now from an ex

7. Hardest person to buy for? my brother

8. Easiest person to buy for? my mom

9. Do you have a nativity scene? yes--a little one the same ex that gave me the bed gave me

10. Mail or email Christmas cards? mail

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? Can't remember anything bad

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Year Round

14. Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Oh gosh..yes!!!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Ham

16. Lights on the tree? yes--white lights

17. Favorite Christmas song? Silient Night

18. Travel at Christmas or stay at home? I like to stay home but have to travel

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer? Yup but I am not telling you!!

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? Neither...too busy looking

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Open one Christmas Eve and the rest on Christmas morning

22. Most annoying thing about this time of the year? Crowds/Traffic

23. What theme or color are you using? I have a tree for every room now so each tree will match that room but my big tree will have red, white and silver on it

24. Favorite for Christmas dinner? Ham, veggies, fresh rolls...mmmmmm

25. What do you want for Christmas this year? Everyone thinks I want money but I don't!! I want some jumper cables, 10 pound weights, a half balance ball, a door bar, tea and honey, body sprays and lotions, sheets, my pillows recovered on my couch, Yankee Candles, a new flash drive for my dissertation!!

Hot Tea!!

2008-11-23T00:43:00.006-06:00

Ever since I got sick 4 WEEKS AGO I have been drinking hot tea. I have never had any desire to drink hot tea but since I had "crack cough" I was desperate to do whatever I could to kill the demon in my chest. So...I got hooked on drinking hot tea and honey. I started out just drinking whatever flavored cheap tea I could find at Walmart. Which was a brand called Bigelow. Then I got some hot tea from Starbucks on the campus at Alabama one nite before class and I was hooked on the expensive tea....Tazo. I say expensive because Tazo is an expensive store brand so to speak. Tazo makes the brand Bigelow taste like watered down tea that sat on ice all day. My fav flavor from Tazo is Wild Sweet Orange and Refresh. In my ongoing desperate attempt to still kill the cough I remembered how much I love Peppermint Coffee from Starbucks so I bought a holiday tea from Celestial Seasons called Candy Cane Lane. It is a very yummy vanilla peppermint flavored tea....and served hot it just stimulates the senses!! I love it!! I seriously drink like 6 cups a day of different flavors. All of it is green tea based....very healthy!! Decaf of course and ZERO calories!! So....if anyone wants to know what to get me for Christmas......hint hint!!

"Crack" er Head!!

2008-11-14T22:51:00.002-06:00

I am soooooooooooo addicted to the Premium Minis Crackers. They are like regular Saltine crackers but in a little 1 inch by 1 inch square! I discovered them when I was going to make Turkey Chili a few weeks back--ended up throwing the chili out because it smelled funny so had this whole box of Minis. Yall....they are sooooooooooo good. I can seriously put them in a bowl and eat them like you Choco-holics eat M&M's or something!! My friend/classmate Susan said that it may be because they are smaller the butter ratio is increased. I don't know but I lllllllooovveeeee these darn little crackers!! Publix had them as a Buy-One-Get-One-Free item last week...happy, happy, joy, joy!! You should try them and Premium should send me a whole case of them for free because of my advertisement!!

My 10 minutes of fame....

2008-11-11T02:32:00.011-06:00

I am not shy! Not when it comes to anything that is a benefit of being a PhD student.....I am going to brag!! My department chair sent me an email today to let me know he has identfied me as a "Leader in my Field" and is submitting my "bio" to the Leadership Council to be considered for the "Spotlight Student" on the Graduate School Webpage for The College of Education. If I am selected I will be featured in April....which is ironic since April is Autism Awareness Month. I have no idea when I will know if I was selected but....still pretty cool!! Since I am a broke doc student that has given up everything for this moment of glory I guess I will have to go to the thrift store to find something rrreeealllllll purdy to wear for my "close-up"!!

Will let ya know when I find out if I was selected or not!!! I the mean time....I will sign autogrpahs for a small fee. Momma needs gas money!!!

Football in the South

2008-11-08T19:57:00.005-06:00

I flippin love the South for a million reasons but I love the South so much during football season!!! I don't care what anyone says.....there is NOTHING like football in the south!! Especially here in Alabama!!

I am 100% and always will be a Nole Girl!! Bobby Bowden is the BEST coach every in EVERY aspect of his life....not just on the field. Good Christian man! But being at Bama now.....and pretty much selling them my soul in debt I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Tide!! I loved the Tide before Nick Saban but I just love that man. I love any coach that pretty much puts the media in it's place. He rocks and now our football team rocks. So with all that said...today was a GREAT day in football for me!!

My beloved Noles beat Clemson! I have been to 2 FSU/Clemson games in the past 3 years and yet to see my Noles beat the Tigers!! Yet to see Bobby beat his son in the Bowden Bowl in person. So Go Noles!! F-L-O-R-I-D-A S-T-A-T-E FLORIDA STATE FLORIDA STATE FLORIDA STATE WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

THEN....THEEEEEEEEEEN Roll Tide Roll!! Or as I have been posting on Facebook all day Reaux Tide Reaux!! Not only did we beat LSU, not only did Nick Saban show those nasty fans that he still owns that stadium, not only did Terrance Cody make a kick-tail comeback BUT the Tide just got the Golden Ticket to the SEC Playoff Game where they have a good chance of playing FLORIDA. Make the connection here...I am a Seminole, don't like the Gators, I am a Bama Girl, Bama will play the Gators in the SEC Playoff game (right up the road in Atlanta) and Bama will win! So, I am a happy girl!!

The University of Alabama didn't waste a second. At 7:45 tonight, less than an hour after the BAMA/LSU game ended the University sent an email to us students to let us know that we can go sign up for our SEC Playoff tickets on Monday morning!! I will know by Wednesday if I get my 2 tickets. (Yes sorry...I can only get 2 and yes I am going!!

Now....what tis to do after that!! Get ready for some Bowl Games I guess!! Love me some football yall!!!

El Presidente

2008-11-04T22:47:00.003-06:00

Well....America..we have a new president!! I think most of you will agree with me that I am just glad this is all over. We can move on, move forward and unite! Right?? I am pretty sure after reading all the posts on Facebook all nite and watching the media that we will now have at least another week or so of criticism, debate and disgrace towards Obama. This too shall pass just in time for his Inauguration in January then everyone starts bitching again!!

I say...get over it people...he is now our president, the leader of our country, and with us for at least the next four years. Geeze...give him an chance to turn this country around first before you start making assumptions that he is taking us all to hell. I am totally ok with Obama because he is our president--the leader of our country. Like my daddy taught me...."Why worry about what you can't change". I voted for McCain because I...ME...MY PERSONAL BELIEFS are more aligned with that of the republican party. Can't say I really loved McCain...and wasn't digging Palin at all. BUT......I did vote for what I thought was right and had already decided that I was totally ok with Obama too.

So, with all that said I just ask that America shows some CLASS and support our new president. Give him a chance and then you can bitch (but ONLY if you voted--another lesson from my daddy) if he doesn't do a good job! I mean really....would you want his job right now? Would you want to try to fix the mess we are in right now? Give him some credit for taking the chance. But in the meantime....be classy, be dignified, and be an American!! That's "what Jesus would do"!!!

Halloween....and hoarse!!

2008-10-30T20:17:00.012-05:00

Well..I was going to wait and post all my Halloween happenings in one blog but since I am now on day 6 with what has now become "Walking Pneumonia" my Halloween festitivies are over for the year!!

I did get to partake in a few fun frolics and festivities prior to the big nite of Oct 31st so I do feel like I have had my Halloween fix for the year. First and foremost...my Minnie Mouse costume rocked!! It was so fun, so me, and soooooooooo cute!! I got to wear it first last Tuesday to my Bunko Halloween party. I took my friend Rhonda with me and she ended up winning big $$$$! Beginners luck....it never fails!! We had a grand time and Lacy's Scrapbooking Costume was the hit of the party!!

As the week went on I developed this scratchy cough and by Friday nite I was in full blown rigor with the aches and oh noooooooo's I am sick!!! Spent 3 hours at the doc in the box Saturday on my knees begging them to shoot me up with whatever they had because I was having a party with a live band and tons of friends and and and.....they got the point!! They realized I really didn't care if they thought I was dying and that I was oblivious to the x-rays, vials of blood, the flu test that scraped my brain....I didn't care!! I was having my party Saturday nite and their job was to drug me up to get me there!! So....2 shots and a breathing treatment later.....I was off to my PARTY!!!

Our party was a hit!! The band rocked....some came in costume and some did not but ALL the people I really wanted to share the nite with were there and sick or not, I had fun!! We put the Bama game on a big TV outside so that kept the guys happy too!! By 2am we were all cleaned up and I was off through the backroads to climb in my warm bed!! Thank you Greg for talking to me all the way home too....love me some Greg!!!

So yes....as expected I am paying for my nite out in the Minnie costume!! Day 6 and I am still sick...sicker than I was a week ago!! I sound like I have been smoking crack for about 5 years and feel like I have a crack hangover. Back to the doc tomorrow to get reprimanded, a few more shots and hopefully enough energy to do something this Halloween weekend!! If not.....doesn't matter...because I was the best Minnie Mouse ever and Angela and I are looking forward to doing our Halloween party every year!!

Dr. Perry Update

2008-10-17T17:52:00.003-05:00

Well...it looks like I am a lot closer to getting finished with my PhD program than I thought!! As of right now I am taking 3 courses and I am also teaching an undergrad course. I have exactly 4 courses left in my ENTIRE program...that is it!! Cannot believe that, considering we have to take 24 hours for our major, 12 hours for Minor #1, 12 hours for Minor #2, and 12 hours in Foundation courses. So with only 12 hours left....not too shabby! I will take all 4 classes in the Spring and continue to teach my course to undergrads!! I also received the dates for my Spring Comprehensive Exams. I will take written comprehensive exams on February 16th. I will have 4 hours to answer 4 questions (with research based support and citations). The questions are written by my professors and based on my previous course work. If I pass my written comps, I will take my oral comps some point later in the same semester. If I pass my oral comps....I am offically a "doctoral candidate" and will start on my dissertation proposal. I have 2 attemps to pass each comprehensive component but if I fail any part I have to wait until the following semester to retake the exam. Yes, if I fail either part 2 times I am finished!! I do not move forward and the game is over!! But I am going to pass on the first try so no worries there!!

I will defend my dissertation proposal sometime in the Fall '09 semester and if my defense is accepted then I will begin my dissertation research. I should complete and defend my dissertation in late Spring or early Fall of 2010!! I basically have about a year and a half to 2 years left in the program. All of this is still so surreal to me. But....this road is getting shorter and shorter!!

My dissertation will focus on the education and support of families of children with autism through the use of the internet. I will be surveying the families to determine thier use of the internet for education and support about thier child's disability and thier perception of the effectiveness of the use. I hope to one day use the information to create an online module system through the state to train families of children with autism using research based practices.

What am I going to do when I graduate....I have no idea?? I LOVE teaching college which I didn't expect so....that is at the top of the list. Where, I don't know but I have several ideas. There is just so much I can do and want to do! All of it will depend on where my life is at when I graduate. I am open to whatever.......Roll Tide!!

Halloweenie Costume

2008-10-12T13:33:00.004-05:00

I am sooooooooooo rocking Minnie Mouse for my halloween party this year! I even have the YELLOW patent-leather mary jane heels with the red bows on them and the red bow head band with ears.........of course I have the gloves (with the black little stripes on them too)!! Oh yhea!!!!!

The Friend Closet

2008-10-05T20:50:00.002-05:00

Last week I was teaching my undergrad students about transition in life. Transition is the period between life stages. Transition gets us to the next place we are going in life. Transition is also a time of great stress regardless of the reason because it involves change. So that nite on the drive back to the 'Ham I got to thinking about a big transition I have had going on for the past year--Cleaning Out the Friend Closet.

I have always been a social person. I like being around people, hanging out with people and just having wonderful people in my life. I have never been 100% unconditionally loving and have been pretty picky in my adult life about the people I choose to have in my life. However, I have been doing some serious cleaning out of the friend closet for the past year.

Now let me first explain the whole concept of a friend closet because EVERYONE has a friend closet....you just may not know it. In a friend closet is all the people you consider your friends. Just like clothes, you have your favorite pieces and those are you favorite friends. These are the people that are just fun and make you laugh and are good people in life. Then you have your casual pieces and those are the people you enjoy but don't get to hang out with as much. These are the friends that you may see on special occasions but are great regardless of the amount time between wear. Then you have those pieces of clothing that are out of style, don't fit or you should have never had to start with. For some reason you still hang on to those "friends" though even if you don't really hang out with them. Some may be hard to part with because they came as a set with another piece of clothing you do like. Some you just keep hoping come back in style but they don't. The good news is that you have that 1 piece of clothing that is your old reliable--no matter how bad your are feeling or how much weight you have gained this article of clothing always makes you feel good! That is the best person ever!!

Well for me I have become less and less tolerant of those bad pieces in my closet. I slowly just started moving the bad pieces out of the closet. I did't tear them up, I didn't burn them or throw them out to the curb. I just slowly and quietly moved them out of the closet. Most of the people I moved out were just bad seeds to start with that I had inherited through other friends. I never really loved them to start with so they were pretty easy to get out of the closet. Other people in the closet just became bad seeds over time....maybe unhappy in thier own life so they treated others badly or are just out of season (didn't grow up). Nonetheless--I had no problem getting rid of those pieces in the closet. I am so far from being a hoarder that this is not surprising!!

What I did was develop a motto that "Friendship should be about QUALITY not QUANITY". Friendship isn't about having 100+ people on your Facebook or MySpace, or getting tons of Christmas cards during the season. Friendship is deeper than that. I have decided to surround myself with people that are just as beautiful on the inside as they are on the outside. I have separated myself from people that treat others badly, that use people, that have unhealthy habits or lifestyles and people who think thier life is full of doom and gloom and see the cup as half empty. I have also separated myself from people that choose to be friends with people like this. May sound selfish on my part but my life is really a lot happier, healthier and more meaningful.

So as I transition through to the next stage of my life--whatever that is--I am enjoying the new found space in my friend closet. Now.....if I could just sell this crap on Ebay I'd be set!

To all my beautiful friends....I love you!!!

Why I don't date!!

2008-10-05T09:26:00.007-05:00

So, I have curiously looked into sites like E-Harmony, Yahoo, and Match.com over the past few years. I was really interested to see who in their right mind would sign up for Sugardaddy.com but decided I would probebly go straight to hell for just looking (kinda like you do if you listen to Marilyn Mansion or watch Cris Angel etc.). Besides my immense skepticism with the whole concept because I do think that wack-a-doos have a lifetime membership to stuff like this, I do have friends that have had success finding a good man on these things. So, I keep looking thinking surely there is a guy out there that has no problem with the fact that a date over coffee at 5 AM for the entire courtship is ok since that is the only time I can meet.

However, after looking on some of the sites for the past few weeks I have made these observations and realized that there is a reason these things don't work for me.....it's me. I am too realistic, too analytical, too picky, too perceptive and too independent to do this stuff. So, I started taking mental notes as to why I see this process as more funny than successful.

Pictures: first and foremost like Brad Paisley sings, "I'm so much cooler online". People put their finest pictures up on these sites. For females, we crop every picture above the waist and make sure not one roll, double chin, or squished arm is in the pic. Well, men are supposed to do that too right. So why is it that I see pictures of guys that are a sure fire way to not only scare me off but to cause concern on any child's playground? Men...if you are trying to win the heart of any "sane" female" try brushing your hair--no cutting your hair and then brushing before you put the pic up on the site. Men are also really bad about putting up pics that are 10 years old or older...hello--I can tell that is you in highschool dork!!!

Careers: Now this is my favorite, favorite part of the process because this is where you see someone's true creativity come out. I guess I am just too honest....I point blank say, "Full time PhD student"---so they know I am broke and too busy to give them attention. Well, the matches I get will say things that really make me wonder "what" it is they do for a living. Here are some REAL examples from some of the men I have been matched with--"Packaging Engineer"--basically this guy is boxing up crap in the back of some hot warehouse for $8.00 an hour; "Environmental Specialist"--dude if you are a garbage man be proud of it.....you may way more money the the majority of the guys on here; "former_____"--ok so you were something big in a former life....what do you do now and why are you hiding it"; "Government"--ok government what? Chain gangs work for the government----do you?; "Turf manager"--is this a fancy term for landscaper. I do think so!!; "Pharmacist--will graduate in 2010"--well dude I hate to break it to you but you are not a Pharmacist, you are a student and broke and busy but nice try; OK--so you get my drift!! This part is just really funny to me!!

Age: On Match.com you can actually see the age range the person is interested in dating within. Example age 30-42 etc. So, the more and more men I started looking at I had a "Men are from Mars" moment. Men, regardless of how old, overweight, or unattractive they are will set thier age range starting in the low 20's and often set it at or below thier own age. Because we all know that a 20 year old hot chick is just searching desperately for a fat, bald man on Match.com. However, the men on here obviously think they are so you go fat bald man, you go!! Now the women on the other hand always seem to have a normal age range set. Maybe 6-8 years younger and 6-8 years older. Why do we do this? Because we are the much smarter species. We KNOW for a fact that a man in his early to mid 20's (well sometimes 30's) is going to be so immature that it would be more of a headache for us than a blessing. We know that a man in his 50's that is looking for us 30 somethings is looking for an ego boost! Men however.....whatever!

My Misc Pickiness: Ok now if a man was able to pass the test with all the the above then I begin to pick them apart based on my "50 dimisions of compatibility" as Dr. Warren on E-Harmony would say! These guys really don't have a chance.....I am a tough cookie. If any of the following statements come up in our conversations or during our date I am done: (Yes, these are actual statements I heard early on)

1. You are an answer to my prayers/everything I have dreamed of
2. I really don't ever want to grow up
3. My family loves you (but I haven't met your family??)
4. My child has a disability and I just knew you'd be the perfect person to understand
5. I am actually not really divorced but we are working on it
6. My mother/sister have the final say on whether a girl I am dating is good or not
7. Would you go out of town with me this weekend
8. I think I just really enjoy the attention you are giving me
9. My son is coming on the date with me (the son was 17!!!) Mmmmm--what???
10. My ex wife still lives with me---neither of us can afford to move out!!

So what is the moral to this story---I think I am good for now!

Brad Paisley Concert

2008-10-04T00:22:00.003-05:00

Tonight I went to the Brad Paisley concert with some friends (Kali, Tori and Tori's husband Presley). First off....the guy is just so cute, so nice, so fun!! Great concert!! Great, great, great!!! He even managed to sneak Alison Krauss out for a duo. Jewel opened up for him...not a huge Jewel fan but she did a lot of her more popular songs so at least you could sing along. Nonetheless....fun nite!!

Note to Self: Cowboy boots are NOT comfortable so regardless of how cute you look--don't wear the boots again!!

Political Priorities People!!!!!!

2008-09-12T16:26:00.004-05:00

Can I get a show of hands if you are just as tired as I am of all the political B.S.!! Oh my...half the country just raised thier hands!! The media has done a darn good job of making this political race a bigger mess than it already was!

Here is what I have to say to each and every US Citizen about our elections this year so LISTEN UP and feel free to share. This is not a opinon but a reality check people!!!

Dear America--

Put away every bit of opinion you have during this election period. There is no room for our decision for the next US president AND running mate to be based on race, age, religion (yup...I said it), ethnicity, gender, time served in or knowledge of the military, or political party. Instead....stop being opinionated and ignorate and go do your homework!!! Can anyone really explain what platform McCain has or just tell everyone else that he is too old to be in office. Is anyone able to look past the skin color and religious affliation of Obama to have a clue what he stands for and believes in for our country? Honestly...would anyone even care if he was an "assummed" Muslim if it wasn't for 9/11?? Nope!! Oh and geez....is anyone able to look past the pregnant teenage daughter of Palin to see what she could bring to the table instead. Do I need to keep going??

I feel pretty safe making the ASSUMPTION that the majority of this country ages 18-105 CANNOT actually hold an EDUCATED conversation with anyone about the figures we have running for president or vice-president!!

As we head to the polls in about 2 months just think about all the people that are going to vote based on THEIR ignorant opinions instead of FACTS!!!

In case no one has noticed.......Our country is falling apart!!! Our rates of divorce, unnatural deaths, domestic violence, hate crimes, poverty, fatherless children, unemployment, crime in general, and debt in all classes are embarrassingly high. These rates have NOTHING to do with the immigrants that have come into our country, with the cost of gas, or with the War in Iraq!!! Nope....our country is a mess because the majority of AMERICANS--full-blooded Americans--- are not living a life with standards, values, respect, good parenting or cultural sensitivity (PS: culture has nothing to do with race by the way---Look that up too)!!

Instead we have become a country that is self-absorbed, self-centered, judgemental of anyone but ourselves, and live by a "Do as I say, Not as I do" mentality. Therefore, that is how we vote!! As long as a candidate agrees with US....then they are a good candidate!!

I am just asking everyone to look past all that and think more about OUR country!!! Who is going to look out for us, our country, and our future? Go do your HOMEWORK and then decide!

You can get a PhD if......

2008-09-03T23:06:00.004-05:00

As I am sitting in my little tiny hotel room in Tuscaloosa for the 10th time since January, surrounded by about 200 people from Louisiana and Texas, listening to the people upstairs obviously do some sort of aerobics at 11:00 at nite, and wondering if that smell is mold or just previous people funk--- I got to thinking about a statement I hear from people all the time. "Wow, a PhD, you must be really smart". But, I tell people all the time I am not and I know I shouldn't short change myself but really......I started thinking about this and really analyzing if that statement is true. Here is what I have decided it takes to get a PhD.!!

You can get a PhD if.....

1. You are willing to stay in a $50 a night hotel 20-30 times a school year because it is cheaper than driving back and forth to Birmingham.

2. You can quickly say no to social functions, family gatherings, and dates with Mr. "maybe" Right but you can't say no to any opportunity to teach a course, do a presentation, work on a publication, serve on a committee, or help others.

3. You are proud that you have ADD, OCD, Type-A, and Insomnia!!

4. You think naming citations off the top of your head is REALLY COOL!!

5. You are willing to spend $80,000 in student loans to make $50,000 a year!!

6. You can't function without your flash drive...or drives!!

7. You can learn to live off of prepackaged, take out, drive thru, or delivery food and still try to eat healthy!

8. You can accept that energy drinks, diet pills, and B-12 shots are really not such a bad idea after all.

9. You want to be an expert......in one thing!!!

10. and last........you can get a PhD if you are crazy enough to qualify for all of the above!!

In all seriousness, I tell people all the time that it really isn't that hard. You have to be dedicated, persistant, have supportive friends and family, and be willling to make a lot of sacrifices. I have loved every single minute I have been in this program. When I drive on campus and see Denney Chimes, Bryant-Denney Stadium, Graves Hall (where my grandfather got his PhD.) and the 1000's of students on the Quad......it inspires me, makes my heart beat fast and puts a smile on my face. I don't care what I have had to give up, what friends haven't stuck by my side, and how much debt I will be in at the end because I am doing something that challenges me, expands my knowledge, and inspires others to work for their goals and dreams!! So see......you really don't have to be that smart.....just smart enough to make it happen!!

Congratulations Rhonda and James

2008-09-01T16:30:00.003-05:00

This weekend my dear friend Rhonda was totally surprised by her boyfriend James with an engagement ring. With all of Rhonda's family up here from Mississippi to dodge the hurricane, James popped the question....and according to Rhonda...she said yes!!!

Congratulations to you both......you are both so sweet and wonderful together!! Love yall!!

Top 10 Ways to Know You Need to Slow Down and Smell the Roses

2008-08-28T23:22:00.001-05:00

"Top 10 Ways to Know You Need to Slow Down and Smell the Roses".

I experienced all of these incidents tonight in my own home during a late nite OCD cleaning spree. Those of you that know me also know I am a neat/clean freak that will give Monk a run for his money on a good day. Here goes the Top 10:

1. Your cooking utinsels in the crock on the counter are covered in dust and have begun to form connecting dust bunny branches!!

2. You use an entire MEGA rolling brush to remove the cat hair from one couch.

3. You now know how they make the jello with the fruit inside!! Just leave a container of pineapple in the refridgerator long enough and it makes it's own jello.....and the fruit stays whole. MMMMMM.......good!!

4. You realize that your Southern Living subscription has been renewed and you still have the prior 12 months you haven't read yet!!

5. You find a prescription for antibiotics from May under a GLASS table in the kitchen and didn't know you hadn't finished taking it.....moreless what you were supposed to be taking the prescripton for??

6. The screeching sounds you have heard for the past 2 nights was the sound of the cat pushing her EMPTY food bowl all over the kitchen in an attempt to get your attention!

7. You wonder why they haven't turned off your power or cell phone when you find the bill??

8. Your pile of stuff to sell on Ebay is now out of season!

9. Your neighbor's toys that you didn't notice had gone over the fence have sat on your grass so long that the grass is dead!

And number 10....drumroll please......You take time to sit down and Blog instead of cleaning all this crap up!!!

Smell the Roses people....life is too short!!

Crow's Nest 2008

2008-08-17T21:00:00.003-05:00

If there is anything such as a PERFECT Girl's Beach Trip then I just had it! This past weekend I headed down to Gulf Shores with 5 of my "Chelsea friends" as I call them (Tori, Gina, Jenn B., Jen O., and Lacy). Tori had bid on this DREAM vacation at a school function! After months of the run around from the condo owner, being shifted back and forth between condos they owned....we were lucky enough to stay at the Crow's Nest in Gulf Shores!!! Let's just say this place was breathtaking and left us....well speechless! As one previous guest noted in the guest book...."It was like something out of Home and Gardens" (my girls....I know you are so loving my description).

Tori, Gina and I headed out on Thursday morning and the rest of the crew met up with us late Thursday night! We vegged on the beach every single day with cold beverages and the best girl talk! We somehow managed to successfully share 1...yes one bathroom....between the six of us girly girls! We ate healthy during the day and fabulous food every nite! We decided to partake in the Gulf Shore ritual of the Flora-Bama on our last nite there! Lacy......you love the Flora Bama now don't you??? We also got to celebrate Gina's birthday all weekend!! Happy Birthday Gina!!

Not one single squabble or hurt feeling or disagreement! A fab time with some pretty fab girls I know!! So there is such a thing as a perfect girl's trip! I am looking forward to Crow's Nest 2009 ladies!!!!!! Pictures coming soon but please....enjoy the picture of my butt and thighs in the Crow's Nest shorts I bought from a vendor at the Flora-Bama Saturday night!! LOL LOL LOL

My Kentucky Baby

2008-08-12T21:15:00.003-05:00

I made the decision this summer that if I made time for anything in my hectic schedule this summer it was to take a trip to Kentucky to see my brother, his wife, and my nephew Seth! Yall that know me best know I love my brother more than anything in this world! This weekend I headed off t0 do just that! This is Craig and Cary's second time to be "posted" at Ft. Knox. This is my favorite post they have had so far but considering they were at Ft. Polk and then Korea....nah.....I still would love Ft. Knox best regardless!! They are only about 5 hours straight up 65 from me so off I went......

First of all....they live in the most perfect place on a post I have ever seen. The houses and setting look like something out of the movie Pearl Harbor. Precious and perfect for a new family! He has wonderful neighbors and all their houses (about 5-6 total) make a semi-circle around a huge playground park area! Just lovely!! I did learn that Army life is quite different than my city life and I don't think I would love it so much but maybe.....no not so much???

Now the second most perfect person in my eyes is my nephew Seth! Now again, those of you that know me best know I don't lie when it comes to saying if a child is good, or cute etc. so this is not a lie. Seth is by far the CUTEST most PERFECT baby I know! He has the best of both Cary and Craig and a blessing on the top of his head....a kiss of red.....from Cary's father who passed several years ago. He is a little guy with a big personality and loves loves loves his Aunt Ashley I THINK?? He loves books, and bath time, and healthy food (especially fresh fruit), and playing on his personal playground the Army built for him!! He has not however figured out that it is ok to sleep in past 5:30 am! Regardless is so wonderfully made and a blessing to our family!!

Craig and Cary were gracious hosts as always! Cary made Stir Fry on Friday nite and we all just relaxed and watched the opening ceremonies to the Olympics! Our day on Saturday started at 3am because Seth heard daddy get up to go potty and thought....oh it's time to get up too! So...after we all tried to pretend to sleep until about 5:30 am we got up and headed into Louisville for breakfast at the famous Lynn's Paradise Cafe (go look at this site!!) This place was so cool!! Then Craig and Cary gave me the choice of going to Ikea or going to a place called Joe Huber's Family Farm....I choose the farm because I really thought Seth would have more fun....and he did! We fed Seth a fresh peach and fed the goats on a Hay Ride. Me.....Ms. Mommy, was more worried about the goats getting run over than anything else. Cary and I actually got bit....hard....by one of the goats. We also went and fed some other animals, Craig and Cary took turns taking Seth down a big tunnel slide, and Craig shot apples out into targets in the lake (the Army would be so proud)!! We then headed down the road to Huber's Orchard and Winery. Craig and I did a Wine Tasting while Cary and Seth shopped for fresh fruit. We hit Subway for lunch on the way home and then headed out to visit with the neighbors and play on the playground! We were EXHAUSTED and all in bed by 9pm.....can't remember the last time I did that!! Here are our pictures from this fab trip!! The dark chic in the pictures is Seth's Mexican nanny!!

Sunday was a lazy day and I decided since I had to be in Tuscaloosa the next moring for training that I would head back to Birmingham after breakfast! Gave everyone a little kiss kiss and hug hug and I was on my way! Already trying to figure out when I can go back to see Seth.....I mean my family...ha ha!!! Love yall!!!

My new phone!!

2008-08-05T23:00:00.001-05:00

I have decided to make it a tradition to upgrade my cell phone every birthday! Last year was the first year I purchased an "expensive" phone and all year I have whined that my "cheap" phone worked better. But my "expensive" phone, The Motorola Krazr (NO--not the Razr), I bought last year did a lot of neat stuff--I could watch TV on it, download music and use it as an MP3 player, GPS, etc. etc.--so I did get hooked on all that. I thought about the iPhone but there is a lot of media out there about all the issues the iPhone is having. (that is why you never ever jump on technology bandwagon people)

So--I decided I wasn't going to downgrade back to just a cellphone--I wanted a SUPER phone. Today.....drumroll please....I bought the new Blackberry Curve! My salesman...a HUGE Florida Gator fan even surprised me by bringing out a GARNET/CRIMSON colored model!! Oh it is soooooo pretty.....it looks like nail polish!! LOVE it!! I will never be without access to....anything.......again!!

Momma got a new car!!

2008-08-03T21:14:00.004-05:00

I am still trying desperately to regain my wits after 2 weeks with about 20 hours of sleep! But I did finish classes and survived another semester! It is funny because every semester I can't wait to be done so I have "freetime" but somehow...the study slots get filled with other things QUICKLY!! This weekend is a prime example....but I had a weekend filled with a lot of "giving" and that always makes me happy!

Friday nite I headed out to dinner with my friends Kali and Angela for some "girl time"! Not gossip but good girl talk! I always feel good when I have spent time with friends that I think are just "fabulous" women on this earth!! We all realized how much fun a simple dinner together really is!!

Saturday I got up super early to take my mom to Nashville so my brother could buy her a new car! I have never been to Nashville.....but look yall.....I had never been to Atlanta until 2 summers ago so I thought going to Nashville was exciting. While mom and Craig shopped for cars I spent the day at Opryland Mall. That is the most autistic I have ever felt!!! I was still lacking a lot of sleep, it was tax-free weekend there too, it is the biggest mall I have EVER seen, and there were about 10,000 people there. It was just too much. I bought 1 pair of lounge pants--green--that's it!! I couldn't wait to get out of there......for now!!

But---the best part of the day is the new car my mom got. She got a gently loved Toyota Camry! Just like the one in the picture. It was such a wonderful feeling to know that my brother and I both are in positions to give back to our mom! My brother is more awesome though!!!!! Again---another reason I am so thankful to God for my blessings!!

Today I got up at 7:30am to go help my friend Greg paint the inside of his new house. He is a sweetheart and is always helping others so I wanted to help him. I lost 4 pounds....seriously! It was all in my soaken wet tank top.

My date book is also filling up more and more each date with either child care or consultation with families! I signed on 2 new families tonight! Phew.....God is good!! He always takes care of me!!

Last I want to close with some things I learned about friendship this week:
--I am willing to rekindle an old friendship despite something major
--I am willing to let another friendship go despite something minor

But--I am never willing to allow someone to be hurtful to make themselves feel better!!

Father/Daughter Weekend

2008-08-01T03:58:00.006-05:00

Dad and I realized our lives were way to busy to try to spend quality time together when we are at family gatherings etc so we decided we needed a father/daughter weekend. I surprised him for his birthday/father's day with a certificate to do a few laps around the track here at Talladega at the Dale Jarrett Racing Adventure. I actually purchased 2 certificates.....one for me and one for him!! For those of you that don't know.....the experience gives you the option of riding in a Nascar car with a trained expert at 165+ miles a hour around the track or you can attend a school all day and drive around the track. We debated over and over which one we wanted to do and we decided to ride this time and drive next time. Our rational was that we didn't think we would drive as fast as the experienced drivers would take us. So we signed up to ride and scheduled it for our father/daughter weekend!

The day of our "adventure" we got to the track about an hour early. It was really overcast and that had us worried.....our worries came true when they shut the track down because it had rained on the backside of the track and it was too wet for the cars to be on it. When we went inside the training room to find out what was going to happen, my dad--mister social butterfly--saw a women he used to work with in Pensacola. They talked forever and we find out that the lady, Ronda, is #2 in charge of the WHOLE company!! We got to hang out with her behind the scenes all day and got VIP treatment all day. We got to hang out in the garage with all the cars--the cars used for the Dale Jarrett Adventure are retired NASCAR cars!! I am NOT a big Nascar fan at all but just to see the cars up close was pretty cool. I was shocked to see how small the cars are inside and how small the engine is.....I have pics!! The 2 newest cars to the Dale Jarrett Racing Adventure were the Dale Earnhardt Sr. car #3 and a James Bond 007 car. Really cool stuff!!

After the rain passed and the track had time to dry Ronda and one of her crew guys put us in a big dooley?? truck and took us around the track at about 80 MPH so we could see if the track was dry enough to put the cars back on. When we took the first turn and we were sitting sideways in the truck I started getting really nervous about my "real" ride.

The track was dry enough for cars so Ronda got us suited up and we got to go out on the track FIRST....before any of the people that were there to drive (they usually go first). It was 12:30, 98 degrees and about 100% humidity. We suited up and hit the track. I was fine with the heat but not fine with the small quarters of the car. I had about a 45 second moment that I thought I was going to freak totally out and tell them to get me out of the car. But, once I had time to sit there and wait for them to get dad in his car I was fine. I was ready to ROCK that track! My driver said, "do you want to go fast" and I said, "Yes yes yes"!!

We took off and did 2 laps of the sweerving back and forth to get the tires warm and then we took off. Our top speed I could see was 185!!!! The turns were insane and I just kept thinking surely the car is going to spin or slide a little bit but we didn't. We got to draft the other car, pass, and go rrrrrrrreeeeeeeealllllllllllyyyyyyyyy fast!!! We did about 8 laps!! It was just awesome!!

Next time.....and very soon I will say......I will be driving!!! Check out our pics!!

Just two cents....

2008-07-25T01:21:00.007-05:00

What makes me tick? Well.....

--I think the quality of friends you keep is much more important than the quantity of friends you have. --You have to make your life and not let life make you!--The past is just that....the past! Let it go!!-- There is no reason for a grown woman to wear anything with the words hottie, cutie, or sexy......especially across her butt!--I'm not as tolerant of adults as I am children! --I have NO use for ignornace, prejudice, disrespect and dishonesty. --I love and support our military and I support the war in Iraq --I think teenagers are too young to drive!!--Carbs should be considered an illegal drug!--I believe our country is falling apart in values, morals, ethics, parenting, and standards.-- I do not believe in sending money to or rescuing other countries when we don't even take care of our own.--I will never live anywhere but the South!!--I think happiness is a necessity for survival! So do what you have to do to be happy!!--There is no reason for a grown woman to wear any article of clothing with a cartoon character on it!!--Churches are too big and have lost touch with the true meaning of faith and Christianity.--A gallon of gas is actually cheaper than what we are all paying for bottled water! No one complains about that!--I have more respect for people that make sacrifices to better their lives than the ones that sit around and let the rest of the country do it for them!--The best schools are NOT always in the best parts of town!--Just because they make clothing in your size doesn't mean you have to wear it!--Only GOOD teachers are underpaid.....there are plently of teachers that make way more money than they deserve!--I can love you but I don't have to like you!!

Congrats Ashley and Dan

2008-07-23T07:45:00.005-05:00

Just want to say congratulations to one of my best friends, Ms. Ashley Gammill Weaver and her cutie, Mr. Dan Moran, on thier engagement this summer! They will be married September 20th in Jamaica with family at their side. A beautiful midday cocktail dinner will be held at The Club in Birmingham on October 4th for all of their family and friends.

I love you both!!!

Happy Birthday to Me!!

2008-07-20T00:04:00.005-05:00

As usual, I managed to have another wonderful birthday season!! For those of you that don't know me, I enjoy my birthday for several days.....sometimes weeks!! This year I turned 37 on July 15th. My father (I love you dad) actually called me on my birthday and asked me how it felt to be 38? So I told him I wasn't sure....since I can only related to what 37 feels like!!

Actually 37 feels really good. I have no complaints at all as my life is so wonderfully amazing and full of the best friends and family. My phone starting ringing about 8am on my "real" birthday morning. I had 4 phone calls to wish me Happy Birthday before 9am. I thought, "if these are the only calls I get all day it is ok because the fact that people rushed to call me was a wonderful feeling"!! But, the phone continued to ring all day! I think my favorite call of the day was from my personal trainer Donnie only because he called me from Hooters. The fact that a 23 year old cutie thought to call me while sitting at Hooters....I mean really.... of course he did LOL!! All of my social networking spaces (like Myspace and Facebook) filled up quickly with cute little comments and graphics too. Again...that was enough to be a great birthday!

So...like any kid would, I skipped class Tuesday nite and went out to dinner with my friend Greg. We went to Buffalo Wild Wings then hung out talking until about midnight!

Wednesday, I took my birthday season off. Thursday nite I had my free birthday tickets to The Comedy Club. Me, my friends Angela, Spence, Rhonda and her boyfriend James, and Ashley and her fiance Dan watched the comedian Julie Scoggins and ate fattening comedy club food! She was pretty good, not the best I have seen there but funny all the same!! Me, Spence, Ashley and Dan headed over to Gabriel's Cafe for a nitecap and then headed home.

Friday I had party around the pool with about 40 adults and kiddies in attendance!! I served hot dogs and everyone else brough delish side dishes and desserts. Everyone had a great time and did I mention the food was delish....LOL!! I hope all the kiddies slept good last nite! After cleaning up (thanks to all the helpers I had) me and Misty headed to my house to hang out and have some girl talk. We were soooooooooooo tired and were glad there was no afterparty afterall!! But Spence made a late appearance to the party (Imagine that!!!!) so we all sat around and talked until midnight. I opened all my presents too....I got Bath and Body goodies, 2 different Sips and Strokes gift cards, house decor, wine, stationary and a beautiful fern for my house!!

THANK YOU ALL FOR CELEBRATING WITH ME!!!!

Autism Therapeutic Consultation Services

2008-07-20T00:00:00.002-05:00

After many requests and my own heart missing the classroom, I will be starting in home consultation, therapeutic intervention and support services in the fall. Yhea!!!! I will continue to babysit for families of children with autism as well!!

I am a recently "young" (37) retired teacher of children with special needs from the Shelby Co. School System. I have a total of almost 20 years working with children, primarily children with special needs. The past 5 years of my career has been dedicated specifically to working with children with autism. My experience has been primarily in early intervention through elementary school aged children.

I am now working on my PhD at the University of Alabama. My research focus at Alabama is on autism of course and family education, support and advocacy. I will be teaching undergrad education majors starting this fall. The course is Parent Education. This course is designed to “teach” teachers how to work effectively and build partnerships with parents of children with special needs. I also conduct workshops and training in the community and across the state.

I am trained and have experience implementing the majority of the most widely used methods of instruction and intervention with children with autism. These include but are not limited to: discrete trial/direct instruction/ABA style instruction; data collection; sensory integration/deprivation disorders; fine motor skill development; play skills; social skills; social stories; behavior intervention and modification; informal communication development; picture symbol communication (PECS); the TEAACH approach; self-care and adaptive skill development; IEP skill development; IEP development; pre-vocational skill development; informal assessment; understanding of formal assessments; community based instruction; Handwriting without Tears; and overall general academic skills. If you are interested in a specific method or intervention that I do not have listed above, please contact me to ask!! I work hard to keep up with the most current practices in our field! I am not certified in any of the specific therapeutic approaches and do not want to represent myself as so. My knowledge comes specifically from working directly with children in small group settings, self-contained classrooms, general education classrooms and across all other school environments.

I have several families that I have worked with from our group already!! I know they would be happy to share their experiences with you. I come to your home and work to meet your individual needs and preferences as well as those of your child.

I am NOW available for childcare (babysitting/respite) 7 days week/hours vary. I will be available to start in home instruction/therapeutic services in late August. I will be available 7 days a week and hours will be determined in the next few weeks!!

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me directly at ashleyhayden@charter.net or (205) 213-7647. Everyone is free to share this with other families and professionals too!! Once I formalize the details I will let you know.

Ashley H. Perry, MA Ed.
Shelby County Parent Support Group Coordinator

Update on my PhD program

2008-07-07T12:43:00.003-05:00

I met with my PhD program advisor today and was able to determine the remaining time I have left at Bama. I only have 5, five, cinco, yes 5 more classes to take before I can take my comprehensive exams. That means....I take Comps this upcoming Spring 2009!!! I will take 3 classes in the fall and 2 in the spring. If all goes well and I pass my oral and written comps in my major and both minors then I can start on my dissertation next summer....that just made me get teary-eyed!! I will have 2 "Foundation" courses to take after comps but I can take those anytime, not required to be eligible for comps. My goal is to take those next summer and then focus only on my dissertation the remaining time I am at Bama. I will continue to work as a Graduate Assistant until I graduate because #1--the experiences and networking opportunities are priceless; #2--it pays my tuition and medical insurance; #3--it pays me enough to put gas in my car.

This fall, 2008, I begin teaching college courses at Alabama BY MYSELF!! I am so excited and nervous at the same time! The course I will be teaching is SPE 374 Parent Education. This course is designed to teach teachers how to work effectively with parents of children with special needs. In case you didn't know...that is my new passion....working with the families of children with autism so this course was meant to be for me!! My class is capped at 50 students and the course is already full at 50 with 5 on the waiting list! This is a big class for a little fish like me but you all know me well enough to know that I LOVE a good challenge!!

I will continue to work under Dr. Cecile Komara at "The" University. Her area of expertise is early childhood and early intervention. We work VERY well together!! She received her PhD 2 years ago at The Univeristy of Kansas--considered one of the TOP Special Education Degree programs in the country. She is currently working on grants to go to Japan to study the 3 different instructional settings used for children with autism. Our plan is for me to go with her next summer to Japan...so pray for Grant Money!! She and I are also working on the development of a new Master's Degree Program at Bama in Severe/Profound Disabilities. This will prepare teachers to work with the more severe population of students in the schools. There are other teachers like me that love that population!! I have been assigned to supervise a student organization at Bama called Student Council for Exceptional Children (SCEC) and I have requested to serve on a committee at the State Department with the Alabama Autism Task Force.

Just in case you ever wonder...all of this is really surreal to me. I was telling someone this past weekend at Dad's party that this whole experience really hasn't been that hard. To me it is more like an activity I participate in. Kind of like people who play golf all the time or sew or jog in marathons. It is just what I do. It has been harder on my body more than anything...ha ha!!

I'll keep you all updated as things with school progress!! Thank you for always supporting me, praying for me, and understanding me when I don't understand myself, when I don't stick to plans, when I forget birthdays or when I don't call for months!!I think way more than I ever do!!~~Ashley

Happy Independence Day

2008-07-04T23:46:00.006-05:00

Happy Independence Day! I hope everyone had a great day! I spent the day with friends around the pool and around the grill. I spent the day with my friend Ashley and her new fiance' Dan and my friend Heather and her husband Andrew and all the kids that came with those 2 packages! We spent all day swimming and finally chowed down on hamburgers, cole slaw, potato salad, baked beans, chips, etc etc. Homemade banana puddin and homemade strawberry shortcake topped off our nite after the fireworks show over the city. Oh and yes Donnie (my dear trainer) and Healthy Connections....I ATE it all! That's ok....I have an appointment with my personal trainer at 8 am tomorrow!!

Tonight we went up to Ashley's church in Vestavia and sat in a spot where we could see the fireworks over the city. The weather was really cool and the scenery was just beautiful!! But, as I listened to "God Bless America" in the background, I looked around at the crowd and wondered how many people understood or even took time to think about the reason for today's celebration. Today we celebrate our freedom and independence as a country, which thousands of young men and women are still fighting to protect in SEVERAL countries overseas right now. Countries where women and children have NO rights, some where all citizens live in fear every waking moment and often receive violent consequences for even trying to have some kind of freedom. We are the "free-ist" country in the world and we should be so thankful for that alone. So, make sure you take time to thank a soldier each and every chance you get and always be thankful to be an American!!

God Bless America!!

Happy Birthday Daddy!

2008-06-30T22:55:00.015-05:00

Today is my dad's 60th birthday! If you don't know my dad....you are really missing out! He is a big ball of mushy love!! We had a huge birthday celebration with tons of family....tons and tons... and bunches of friends too! His birthday started with a surprise (BIG BIG surprise) visit from Justin (my step-brother) and his wife Jessica that live in Colorado. Neither Dad nor Sue knew they were coming into town. Me, Craig and his family came down on Friday along with all of Dad's brothers and thier families and my grandmother Eve and her husband Chuck. We relaxed Friday nite and got things ready for Saturday. I gave dad a really sweet letter and our tickets to go do The Dale Jarrett Racing School on July 26th!

Saturday nite was a BBQ Birthday Bash at dad's house. Soooooo many people came despite the heat and brought him lots of goodies...especially beer!! Eve Mama made his favorite cake! Jessica's Cowboy dip was a HIT!! My best friend Stephanie came and she and I spent the rest of the nite catching up and hanging out with some of my dad's bosses....and laughed so hard our stomachs are still sore today. We all CRASHED late late Saturday nite!!!

Sunday.... Dad got up at 6am and went with my brother to take Seth to the beach. Seth acts like he has lived at the beach his whole life. He LOVES it!!! The immediate family went and ate fresh seafood at the beach....mmmmmm fresh oysters and a Grouper Sandwich!! It was time for me to head back to Birmingham, Justin and Jessica on a plane back to Colorado (which ended up getting delayed and they stayed until Monday), and time to get Seth home for a nap.

This was a wonderful weekend. A reminder how blessed we Perry's are to have such a loving, supportive and caring family topped off with so many friends! Life is good!!

Here are the pics!!
Happy Birthday Daddy!!

Life

2008-06-24T23:15:00.006-05:00

As I am coming home from babysitting last nite I come up on lights.....tons of red, white and blue lights and can see that the interstate has been completely blocked off on 459 right next to the 65 interchange. Obviously a wreck. A bad wreck. So I as I creep on to the 65 exchange I get stuck. Stuck right next to the massive twist of cars and smoke and rescue workers. Now God knows how I feel about this kind of stuff. He really really knows this is not good for me. But like most drivers would, I am staring at the cars and people running around and since I am stuck there I start wondering who and why and what. Then there comes a stretcher...with a body...in a bag. I watch as they roll it past me. Now that will have you analyze your life real quick. So, I drove 50 MPH on the interstate the rest of the way home. Stuff like that just sticks with me. I find out today that is was a 21 year old BOY...yes a boy, barely a man. His life taken by a drunk driver. Just tragic all the way around. Makes me thank God for every second I breath . I forget how our life here on earth is a privledge and not a right and that I need to be more thankful for that. So today I drove a little slower, let people over that were in a hurry, and prayed for them as they tore through traffic. If just for this brief moment I slow down to appreciate life......I hopefully touched someone who did the same.

Holy Cow....she is home!!!

2008-06-21T20:47:00.006-05:00

I live my life by several different mottos.....one is to live by having faith in the work of God and the other my father taught me "Don't worry about the things you cannot change". So when my female cat ran away May 27th, I had faith that she would come back or that the signs I put up in the neighborhood would bring her home. As the weeks passed by and the tears flowed I decided that there was nothing more I could do but pray that she was with someone that was taking care of her.

Now tonight, June 21st...almost one month later a neighbor came to tell me she thought my cat was outside. So with wet hair, no bra, barefoot I began to walk yard to yard until I saw her. The cat I saw was much skinnier so I wasn't sure but as soon as I said her name the cat froze and begin to walk to me. Obviously still shaken from being in the elements, the cat took off running INTO a sewer drain at the end of the street. So I took off...still braless to try to get her out. She cried and cried but wouldn't come out. So, I did what any good cat mama would do at 8:30pm, in her pajamas, with wet hair and no shoes on. I laid down on my stomach in the middle of the street and held my hand in the drain until she would come to me. Then I yanked her up and we headed back to the house. Needless to say, yes--it is Keegan my baby girl and she is home!! In fact it has taken me 30 minutes to type this because she climbing all over me, smelling me and kneading me with her paws.

So what is the moral of this story....keep the faith, don't worry about things you can't change, and next time your cat gets out and is in your neighbor's backyard at 10:30 at nite.......wake up the DAMN neighbors!!

Glad your are home Keegie!!!!

US Army boys

2008-06-21T17:47:00.005-05:00

I was blessed to spend some time with my cousin Shawn and his 3 kids at the lake a week ago. Shawn is home from his SECOND tour in Iraq with the army. Shawn is not only one of the greatest men I know but he is a man that has dedicated his life to serving our country and takes his job in the military very serious. Shawn and I sat up until almost 2 in the morning looking at video footage from Iraq and talking about the war and the reason our men are there. I left our time together knowing without a doubt that our troops have a reason to be there and they are doing what they need to do to save us...the Americans over here living in freedom..... from any further devestation from terrorists. Anyone who thinks we are going to be safe from harm if we pull our troops out of Iraq needs to do some homework or take the time to TALK to someone that has been there. All the "Armchair Quarterback" soliders we have here in America can't really make that decision can they?? My brother, a US soldier in the army too, also fought for our country in Iraq and I couldn't be prouder to be a U.S. Army Sister...and cousin!!

I was also recently given a bumper sticker that I found to be quite appropriate in our time of political chaos. It read...."ANNOY A LIBERAL--WORK, SUCCEED, BE HAPPY"!!

Amen!!!!

Fitness and Funding

2008-06-20T17:26:00.000-05:00

OK....so if it isn't bad enough that my student loans will be as much as my mortgage on my new house by the time I finish school... "The" university just voted to raise our tuition by $350 every semester! As long as they just budget that into the money they are already giving me.... I just keep saying that I will be soooooooo rich when I finish that it won't matter. Oh but I am quickly brought back to reality when I remember I am still in the field of education.....there will be no wealth when I finish.

The good news is that I completed my first month with the trainer at Fitness Together and the meal deal. For those of you that don't know what I am talking about.....I decided to join a personal training program here in Birmingham called Fitness Together. I work out one on one with a trainer for an hour 3 days a week and have a company called Healthy Connections make all my meals. The meals are healthy and portion controlled at 1200 calories a day. So...I am loving it!! I just feel soooooooo much better. I have lost 15 pounds this first month. OF course I wanted it to be so much more but I have decided that my body complelty freaked when it wasn't getting the 7000 calories a day it was used to and decided to go on strike....ha ha!! I'll keep everyone updated on the progress.....or lack thereof!!

Sweet Home Alabama All Summer Long

2008-06-18T00:20:00.006-05:00

I love that new song by Kid Rock...don't you?? But on a more serious note....how are things with me at Alabama this summer??? Well, I didn't get a break from classes. I went straight from Spring classes into taking a 3 week May mini-term class. The class was on Play Therapy. Sounds fun doesn't it!! I think I would have liked it better in a classroom really but I didn't finish the class and went straight into my Summer courses. I am now taking 2 summer classes. I have one class online, The History of American Education. I know, don't be jealous that I am having all the fun this summer!! NOT!! This class is digging really deep into the theories and philosophies of where education began! A required course none the less!! But it is online so I can go at my own pace and do the work at 2am if I want to!! The other class is one of my Research Statistic courses BUT I really like it. Why?? Because it is my light at the end of the tunnel!! This class is teaching me step by step all the components of my research proposal and dissertation. I have this class on Tuesday nites at the Gadsden Campus. Yes...THE University of Alabama has a campus in Gadsden. Very small with one parking lot! Parking is FREE and there is always a parking spot open. The drive is about the same as Tuscaloosa but less traffic! I will wrap up my summer classes at the beginning of August and have about a 3 week break before I start Fall semester. More to come on that later!!

Ahhhhhhhhhh....the beginning of the end

2008-06-17T22:51:00.006-05:00

Two cents short of being overly opinionated, over educated, and overly liberated in a conservative kind of way! Two years shy of finishing my PhD...makes me pretty darn smart and pretty darn motivated! I am a surprise to myself sometimes! Amazingly together, independent, and strong! By amazing I mean....it is amazing I am where I am at today.... considering! Friends and family make my life abundant not complete! There is nothing in this world that should complete your life but the ultimate...the end! I've worked hard to be where I am at and even when I am at the top of my game I have no where to go but forward! Never looking back to dwell on the past! I see my past as a series of stepping stones that have taken me on a neverending path through life. I am thankful to God every single day for this life I have. I am so blessed....it is just wonderful!! I think deeply and speak openly topped with sprinkles of humor and wit! I am blessed with a touch of ADD which is the fuel on my fire in life!! That also means I have a lot of random thoughts worth sharing. Not to be offensive, controversal, or one-sided! I just think what I think is worth thinking about!!

I have decided to join the ranks of several friends and family members and start my own blog. Mainly so I can rant and rave about what is on my busy little mind!! This is also a great way to share with all the MySpace haters too!! I cannot promise that I will be as productive as some family members (not to mention any names....Heather...LOL) but I will try my bestest to keep this updated with my "two cents"!! Enjoy!!